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Margaret Cho (born Moran Cho, December 5, 1968) (sometimes misspelled Margret Cho) is an American female comedian, fashion designer, actress, author, and as of 2008, recording artist. Cho is best known for her stand-up routines, through which she critiques social and political problems, especially those pertaining to race and sex. In acting terms, she has played more serious parts, such as that of John Travolta's long-suffering FBI colleague in the action movie Face/Off.
She has also directed and appeared in music videos, and has her own clothing line. She has frequently supported gay rights, and identifies herself as queer. She has won awards for her humanitarian efforts on behalf of women, Asians, and the LGBT community.
Birth name: Moran Cho
Born: December 5, 1968 (1968-12-05), San Francisco, California, U.S.
Medium: Stand-up comedy, television, film, female stand up comedian
Nationality: American
Years active: 1994–Present
Genres Liberal/Political Humor, LGBT Humor
Subject(s): Gay rights, race, liberal issues
Influences: Bill Hicks
Spouse: Al Ridenour (2003–present)
Notable works and roles : Assassin, I'm the One That I Want
Early life
Cho was born into a Korean family in San Francisco, California. She grew up in a racially diverse neighborhood in the 1970s and 1980s, which she described as a community of, "old hippies, ex-druggies, burnouts from the '60s, drag queens, Chinese people and Koreans. To say it was a melting pot—that's the least of it. It was a really confusing, enlightening, wonderful time."
Cho's parents, Young-Hie and Seung-Hoon Cho, ran a bookstore on San Francisco's Polk Street. Her father writes joke books as well as a newspaper column in Seoul, South Korea. After Cho expressed an interest in performance, she auditioned and was accepted into the San Francisco School of the Arts, a performing arts high school. While at the school, she became involved with the school's improvisational comedy group with Sam Rockwell.
Early career
After doing several shows in a club adjacent to her parents' bookstore, Cho launched a stand-up career and spent several years developing her material in clubs. Cho's career began to build after appearances on television and university campuses. She secured a coveted spot as opening act for Jerry Seinfeld, and was featured on a Bob Hope special. She was also a frequent visitor to The Arsenio Hall Show.[7] In 1994, Cho won the American Comedy Award for Best Female Comedian.
All American Girl
That same year, ABC developed and aired a sitcom based on Cho's stand-up routine. The show, All American Girl, was initially feted as the first show where an East Asian family was prominently featured.
Cho has expressed subsequent regret for much of what transpired during the production of the episodes of the show.
After network executives criticized her appearance and the roundness of her face, Cho starved herself for several weeks; her rapid weight loss, done to modify her appearance by the time the pilot episode was filmed, caused serious kidney failure.
The show suffered criticism from within the U.S. East Asian community over its perception of stereotyping. Producers told Cho at different times during production that she was "too Asian" and, that she was "not Asian enough". At one point during the course of the show, producers hired a coach to teach Cho how to "be more Asian".
Much of the humor was broad, and at times, stereotypical portrayals of her close Korean relatives and homosexual book-shop customers.
The show was quickly canceled after suffering from poor ratings, and the effect of major content changes over the course of its single season.
Following the show's 1995 cancellation, Cho became addicted to drugs including alcohol. As detailed in her 2002 autobiography, I'm the One That I Want, in 1995, her substance abuse also degraded a performance in Monroe, Louisiana, that she was booed off the stage by 800 college students.
I'm the One That I Want
Cho's career and personal life were challenged after the cancellation of the show, but Cho eventually sobered, refocused her energy and developed new material. In 1999, she wrote about her struggles with the show in her first one-woman show, I'm the One That I Want. Cho then released her book of the same name, and the show was filmed and released as a concert film in 2000. Her material dealt with her difficulties breaking into show business due to her ethnicity and weight, and her resulting struggle with and triumph over body image issues and drug and alcohol addiction.
Shows, books, music
Cho appeared in an episode of the HBO comedy Sex and the City's fourth season. The episode titled, "The Real Me," first aired on June 3, 2001, and also guest-starred supermodel Heidi Klum.
In 2002, the show Notorious CHO (the title derived from slain rapper The Notorious B.I.G.) dealt with her having been raised in 1970s San Francisco and her own bisexuality.
In 2003, she made another stand-up film, Revolution, released in 2004.
In late 2004, Cho began work on her first self-written and starring film role. The movie is called, Bam Bam and Celeste, and is a low-budget comedy about a "fag hag" and her gay best friend. The film co-stars Cho's friend and co-touring act Bruce Daniels. The film premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival, in 2005. On Valentine's Day of 2004 she spoke at the Marriage Equality Rally at the California State Capitol. Her speech can be seen in the documentary Freedom to Marry
In 2005, Cho started promoting and touring with her new show, Assassin. The show became her fourth live concert film, and premiered on the gay and lesbian premium cable network Here! TV, in September 2005. In this DVD, she notably includes herself when talking about gays, saying, "we," and, "our community." Posters for Assassin feature Cho in paratrooper gear holding a microphone in the style of an automatic rifle, a reference to the infamous 1974 photo of heiress Patty Hearst.
Also in 2005, Cho released her second book, I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight, a compilation of essays and prose about global politics, human rights and other topical issues. Cho launched a national book tour in support of the collection. An audio reading of the book was also released. A DVD of a live taping of the Assassin tour was released in conjunction with the book.
Cho launched "The Sensuous Woman" burlesque-style variety show tour in Los Angeles, California on August 10, 2007 with tour dates scheduled through November 3, as of October 10. Past and scheduled tour stops after Los Angeles are Chicago, Illinois and New York, New York. On August 10, 2007 the San Francisco Chronicle reviewed the show, Cho's work, key events in her personal life and characterized the show as, "In fact, as bawdy and bad-behaving as the cast gets, the whole show feels more like a crazy family reunion than a performance."
The premiere performance of Cho's "Beautiful" tour was on February 28, 2008 in Sydney, Australia as part of the Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Festival. Cho was also the Chief of Parade for the festival's annual parade along Oxford Street on March 1. During her stay in Sydney, Cho was filmed shopping for parade outfits in a drag store with Kathy Griffin and Cyndi Lauper for Griffin's reality series Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. The episode featuring Cho aired on June 26, 2008.
After same-sex marriage became legal in California in May 2008, Cho was deputized by the City of San Francisco to perform marriages there.
Cho has her own reality show The Cho Show, which premiered on VH1 on August 21, 2008. Cho and her family and friends will also appear in an episode of NBC's new series Celebrity Family Feud which premiered on June 24, 2008.
In September 2008, Cho released her first single "I Cho Am A Woman" on iTunes. The song, produced by Desmond Child, will be on her debut album due out in 2009.
Nature of material
Cho's comedy routines are often explicit. She has covered substance abuse, eating disorders, her bisexuality and obsession for gay men, and Asian-American stereotypes, among other subjects, in her stand up.
The poster for her first one-woman show (and film), I'm the One That I Want, featured her holding her arms out as if gripping a steering wheel but with her index finger extended, an allusion to a long joke she tells involving the rides home after using digital rectal stimulation while performing fellatio in order to expedite her partner's orgasm.
Cho also became well known for portraying her relationship with her mother in her work, particularly in imitating her mother's heavily accented speech. Her depictions of "Mommy" became a popular part of her routine.
Political advocacy
Cho's material often features commentary on politics and contemporary American culture. In addition to her shows, Cho also developed an additional outlet for her advocacy with the advent of Margaretcho.com and her daily weblog.
A substantial segment of her material and advocacy addresses gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender issues. When San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom directed that San Francisco's city hall issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples in San Francisco in 2004 (until reversed by the state supreme court), Cho started Love is Love is Love, a website promoting the legalization of gay marriage in the United States.
Cho has also been outspoken about her dislike of former President George W. Bush. She began to draw intense fire from conservatives over her fiercely anti-Bush commentary; a live performance in Houston, Texas was threatened with picketing. Although protesters never showed up, she held a counter protest outside the club until security told her she had to go inside.
In 2004, Cho was performing at a corporate event in a hotel when, after ten minutes, her microphone was cut off and a band was instructed to begin playing. Cho claims this was because the manager of the hotel was offended by anti-Bush-administration comments. Cho's payment, which was issued by way of check directly to a non-profit organization, a defense fund for the West Memphis Three, initially bounced but was eventually honored.
In July 2004 during the Democratic National Convention, Cho was dis-invited to speak at a Human Rights Campaign/National Stonewall Democrats fundraiser out of fear that her comments might cause controversy. In November 2005, she campaigned to pardon Stanley Tookie Williams, an early Crips gang leader, for his death sentence for four murders. On December 13, 2005, after exhausting all forms of appeal, Williams was executed by lethal injection at San Quentin State Prison, California.
She emceed the multi-artist True Colors Tour, which traveled through 15 cities in the United States and Canada. The tour, sponsored by the Logo channel, began on June 8, 2007. Headlined by Cyndi Lauper, the tour also included Debbie Harry, Erasure, The Gossip, Rufus Wainwright, The Dresden Dolls, The MisShapes, Rosie O'Donnell, Indigo Girls, The Cliks and other special guests. Profits from the tour helped to benefit the Human Rights Campaign as well as PFLAG and The Matthew Shepard Foundation.
On January 25, 2008, Cho officially gave her support to Illinois Senator Barack Obama for the nomination on the Democratic ticket for the 2008 U.S. presidential race. After Republican Presidential candidate John McCain announced his running-mate, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska, Cho said of Palin, "I think [Palin] is the worst thing to happen to America since 9-11."
Other projects
In 2002, Cho founded a clothing line with friend and fashion designer Ava Stander called High Class Cho. The company eventually went defunct due to lack of consumer interest; however, in 2006, Cho introduced her own line of belly dancing belts called Hip Wear.
In 2004, Cho took up bellydancing and started her own line of bellydancing accessories (sold through her website). She also had extensive tattooing done to cover the majority of her back. She co-wrote and starred in a sitcom pilot based around the "Mommy" character of her stand-up, but it was not picked up. She began releasing comedic rap animated videos on her website under the moniker "M.C. M.C." (MC Margaret Cho) including the tracks "Finger" and "Roofies".
In November 2006, Cho joined the board of Good Vibrations. She co-wrote a rap song with fellow comedian Diana Yanez entitled "My Puss", which was recorded by the duo as "Maureen and Angela"; she then appeared in and directed the music video for the song. In December 2006, Cho appeared on the Sci Fi Channel (United States)'s miniseries The Lost Room as Suzie Kang, a tough, chain-smoking independent operator who will sell information to anyone about the motel room's Objects — for the right price.
In 2007, Cho appeared in The Dresden Dolls' video of their song "Shores of California", which was MCed by Amanda Palmer and in The Cliks' video for "Eyes in the Back of My Head", in which she played Lucas Silveira's lover. She also voiced a character, Condie Ling, on the Logo animated series Rick & Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in All the World. Her episodes began airing in 2007.
Recently on an episode of The Hour with host George Stroumboulopoulos, actress/comedian Cho mentioned that she loved Broken Social Scene and wishes to be a part of the band (offering to play the rainstick or the triangle). On air, Stroumboulopoulos called Kevin Drew from his cellphone and Cho made her request to join the band via his voicemail.
Personal life
Cho married Al Ridenour, an artist involved in the production of Cacophony Society and the Art of Bleeding, in 2003. Margaret was featured in an Art of Bleeding performance in March 2006.
Cho began getting major tattoo work done in 2006 and has become an enthusiast; as of March 2007 she estimates that 15-20% of herself is currently tattooed. She was interviewed by comedian Dawn French in her television program Girls Who Do Comedy, which profiled thirty female comedians.
Commendations
In 1999, I'm The One That I Want won New York magazine's Performance of the Year award and was named one of the Great Performances of the year by Entertainment Weekly.
In 2000, her "E! Celebrity Profile" won a Gracie Allen Award from the American Women in Radio and Television organization acknowledging its "superior quality and effective portrayal of the changing roles and concerns of women."
In 2000, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) awarded her with a Golden Gate award and described her as an entertainer who, "as a pioneer, has made a significant difference in promoting equal rights for all, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity."
In 2001, she was given a Lambda Liberty Award by Lambda Legal for "pressing us to see how false constructions of race, sexuality, and gender operate similarly to obscure and demean identity."
In 2003, she received a "Justice in Action" award from the Asian Legal Defense and Education Fund.
In 2003, she was given an Intrepid Award by the National Organization for Women.
In 2004, she was awarded with the First Amendment Award from the American Civil Liberties Union.
In 2007, she won for Outstanding Comedy Performance in AZN's Asian Excellence Awards.
April 30, 2008 was declared "Margaret Cho Day" in San Francisco, CA.
Margaret Cho Filmography
Angie (1994)
The Doom Generation (1995)
Sweethearts (1996)
It's My Party (1996)
Pink as the Day She Was Born (1997)
Fakin' Da Funk (1997)
Face/Off (1997)
The Thin Pink Line (1998)
Ground Control (1998)
The Rugrats Movie (1998)
I'm the One That I Want (2000)
Notorious C.H.O. (2001)
Revolution (2003)
Assassin (2005)
Bam Bam and Celeste (2005)
The Lost Room (2006)
Falling for Grace (2007)
Celebrity Family Feud (2008)
One Missed Call (2008)
The Cho Show (2008)
Miss Oriented (2009)
Margaret Cho Bibliography
I'm the One That I Want (2000)
I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight (2005)
Margaret Cho Discography
Drunk with Power (1997)
Live in Houston (1998)
I'm the One That I Want (2000)
Notorious C.H.O. (2001)
Revolution (2003)
Assassin (2005)
Margaret Cho's debut album (2009)
Margaret Cho Show/Tours
"I'm the One That I Want" (2000)
"Notorious C.H.O." (2002)
"Revolution" (2003)
"State of Emergency" (2004)
"Assassin" (2005)
"True Colors" (2007)
"Beautiful" (2008)
"True Colors" (2008)
Margaret Cho was born December 5, 1968 and raised in San Francisco. "It was different than any other place on Earth," she says. "I grew up and went to grammar school on Haight Street during the '70s. There were old hippies, ex-druggies, burnouts from the '60s, drag queens, and Chinese people. To say it was a melting pot - that's the least of it. It was a really confusing, enlightening, wonderful time."
Her grandfather was a Methodist minister who ran an orphanage in Seoul during the Korean War. Ignoring the traditions of her patriarchal culture, her mother bravely resisted an arranged marriage in Korea and married Margaret's father who writes joke books - in Korean. "Books like 1001 Jokes for Public Speakers - real corny stuff," Margaret says. "I guess we're in the same line of work. But we don't understand each other that way. I don't know why the things he says are funny and the same for him."
Margaret started performing stand-up at age 16 in a comedy club called The Rose & Thistle above a bookstore her parents ran. Soon after, she won a comedy contest where first prize was opening for Jerry Seinfeld. She moved to Los Angeles in the early '90s and lived in a house with several other young performers.
I moved out because I wasn't the most famous. If the Manson Family had come, I wouldn't have been Sharon Tate; I would have been one of the supporting victims, and who wants that? Janeane Garofalo moved into my old room. Anyway, 'Cho' written in blood on the wall doesn't look as cool as 'Garofalo.'
Still in her early twenties, Cho hit the college circuit, where she immediately became the most booked act in the market and garnered a nomination for Campus Comedian of The Year. Arsenio Hall introduced her to late night audiences, Bob Hope put her on a prime time special and, seemingly overnight, Margaret Cho became a national celebrity.
In 1994, she starred in a short-lived ABC sitcom called All-American Girl. Says Margaret:
There were just so many people involved in that show, and so much importance put on the fact that it was an ethnic show. It's hard to pin down what "ethnic" is without appearing to be racist. And then, for fear of being too "ethnic," it got so watered down for television that by the end, it was completely lacking in the essence of what I am and what I do. I learned a lot, though. It was a good experience as far as finding myself, knowing who I was and what direction I wanted to take with my comedy.
In 1999, Margaret chronicled her experience on the sitcom in an off Broadway one-woman show called I'm The One That I Want. The show was extremely well received, toured the U.S, and was made into a concert film and a best-selling book of the same name. The film, which garnered incredible reviews, broke the record for the most money grossed per print in movie history. After the success of her first show, Margaret launched Notorious C.H.O. in 2001, a smash-hit 37-city national tour that culminated in a sold-out concert at Carnegie Hall. Notorious C.H.O. was also recorded and released as a feature film, hailed by the New York Times as "Brilliant!" Both films were acquired by Showtime Cable Networks in 2004 and are currently airing on their channels. Margaret embarked on her third sold-out national tour, Revolution, in 2003. The tour ultimately grossed 4.4M and was heralded as "Her strongest show yet!" by the Chicago Sun Times. The concert film premiered on
the Sundance Channel in 2004 and was released on DVD later that year. The CD of Revolution was nominated for a Grammy for best comedy album of the year for 2003.
In 2004, Margaret took her politically charged State of Emergency tour through the swing states of the Presidential election. Lauded as "Murderously funny!" by the New York Times, State of Emergency eventually evolved into her fourth national show, Assassin. Her most political and topical work to date, Assassin toured the US, Canada and Australia and was filmed at the Warner Theatre in Washington D.C. The concert film premiered in select theatres and on the gay and lesbian premium channel Here! TV in late 2005 and is now available on DVD.
In addition to her busy touring schedule, Margaret has proven herself an established writer and blogger; her second book, a collection of essays on all subjects political and pop, I Have Chosen to Stay and Fight was published by Riverhead Books, a division of Penguin Group (2005). She has also completed her first narrative feature; Bam Bam and Celeste, written by and starring Margaret, premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival in late 2005 and has since played at the AFI Fest, Frameline, Fusion, and the London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival.
In 2007, Margaret hit the road with 80's legends Cyndi Lauper, Debbie Harry & Erasure along with indie faves The Dresden Dolls and The Cliks to host the True Colors Tour, benefiting the Human Rights Campaign. A true entertainment pioneer, Margaret also created and starred in The Sensuous Woman, a live variety show featuring vaudevillian burlesque and comedy, which she took for an extended off-Broadway run last fall.
This year Margaret returned to her stand-up roots with a brand new tour, Beautiful, which premiered in Australia at The Sydney Theater in February. This was the first time Margaret debuted a tour abroad, and she was honored to be named Chief of the 30th annual Sydney Mardi Gras Parade while down under! After returning to the US, Margaret embarked on a nationwide spring tour of Beautiful, and is proud to announce that the tour has just been extended through the fall. Ticket and show info is available on her tour page. In describing what Beautiful means to her, Margaret explains:
I want to explore the nature of beauty. What is funny and scary about it, why we often don't feel beautiful because our society's standards are so rigid and unattainable. A DJ once asked me, "If you woke up tomorrow and you were beautiful, what would you do? If you were, blonde, blue-eyed, 5 foot 11, and weighed 100 pounds, what would you do?!?" Well, I probably wouldn't get up in that case, because I'd be too weak to stand. If that is his only idea of beauty then I feel really sorry for him. I want everyone to feel beautiful and I want to do it with laughter. Why not feel good about ourselves?
Thirteen years after her catastrophic foray into television, Margaret is triumphantly returning to TV on her own terms, in her new Vh1 series, The Cho Show. Describing it as a 'reality sitcom,' Margaret says, "It's the closest I've been able to come on television to what I do as a comic." The Cho Show follows Margaret, her real parents, and her eccentric entourage (Selene Luna, John Stapleton, John Blaine, and Charlie Altuna) through a series of irreverent and outrageous experiences, shaped by Margaret's 'anything goes' brand of stand-up. The Cho Show airs on Vh1, Thursdays at 11/10c and premieres on August 21. Visit Margaret's tv/film page for complete listings.
Margaret was the recipient of the first ever Best Comedy Performance award at the 2007 Asian Excellence Awards. She also recently received the First Amendment Award from the ACLU of Southern California, and the Intrepid Award from the National Organization for Women (NOW). She has also been honored by GLAAD, American Women in Radio and Television, the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), the Asian Legal Defense and Education Fund (AALDEF), and PFLAG for "making a significant difference in promoting equal rights for all, regardless of race, sexual orientation or gender identity."
I didn't mean to be a role model. I just speak my truth. I guess speaking from your heart really creates a huge impact, and if I can encourage people to do that, then I would love to be a role model. If I could encourage people to use their voices loudly, then that's my reward. I don't care about winning an academy award; I don't care about mainstream acceptance, because it's never going to be what I want it to be. I just want to do my work and love it.
Jan 17
Red Robinson Show Theatre: 8:00pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Coquitlam, BC. Tickets.
Jan 27
Fingerbang @ Largo: 8:30pm
A Musical Diversion
with special guests Jon Brion, Grant Lee Phillips, Jill Sobule & more!
Los Angeles, CA. Reserve Tickets Now
Jan 30
San Jose Improv: 8:00pm & 10:00pm
special guests Selene Luna & Ian Harvie
San Jose, CA. Tickets.
Jan 31
San Jose Improv: 7:00pm & 9:00pm
special guests Selene Luna & Ian Harvie
San Jose, CA. Tickets.
Feb 24
Fingerbang @ Largo: 8:30pm
A Musical Diversion
Los Angeles, CA. Reserve Tickets Now
March 6
Bergen Performing Arts Center: 8:00pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Englewood, NJ. Tickets.
March 7
Carnegie Music Hall of Homestead: 8:00pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Pittsburgh, PA. Tickets.
March ?
South by Southwest
Austin, TX. Info TBA.
April 4
Treasure Island Resort and Casino: 8:00pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Red Wing, MN. Tickets.
April 10
University of Oregon: Time TBA
special guest Selene Luna
Eugene, OR. Students Only
May 28
Zanies: 7:30pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Nashville, TN. Tickets.
May 29
Zanies: 7:30pm & 9:45pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Nashville, TN. Tickets.
May 30
Zanies: 7:00pm & 9:00pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Nashville, TN. Tickets.
May 31
Zanies: 7:30pm
special guest Ian Harvie
Nashville, TN. Tickets.
Oct 30
Agua Caliente Casino: Time TBA
Palm Springs, CA. Ticket Info TBA
Features on "The Cho Show"
"Returning in Her Favorite Role, Herself" - Aug 8, 2008 The New York Times
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Aug 28, 2008 The Advocate
"Margaret Cho returns to TV on her terms this time" - Aug 20, 2008 USA Today
"Finally a reason to tune in."
"Cho is finally doing her own thing, her own uncharted way. And she's a pioneer and a role model — X-rated potty mouth and all." The Star Telegram
"Good-natured reality entourage sitcom."
"Benefits to no end from the presence of Cho's parents." The LA Times
"The most fun reality series about a star's family since season one of MTV's The Osbournes."
"Cho finally has her day, her say, and don't forget, "her gay." She makes the most of this opportunity, and so should we." The News & Observer
"There's a new sheriff in town!" AfterElton.com
"Tonight’s “Beautiful” tour returned audiences to a more primal state, double-fisting drinks, hollering, and screaming alongside Cho as she performed her routine of confronting “hush-hush” issues with trademark acid wit." Venus Zine
"Almost 40 now, Ms. Cho was less strident, less out to shock for the sake of it, and more outwardly happy than in the past....She was most at home when engaging the body, especially from the angle of identity politics...Ms. Cho seemed more comfortable in her skin than ever." Dallas Morning News
"Some of the biggest laughs were unprintably raunchy (but none the less hysterical)." Star-Telegram
"Cho laid her dirty comedy on thick at the Orpheum Saturday night, and the near-capacity crowd ate it up. Cho was larger than life on the video screen above her - all the better to see her masterful facial expressions. She can contort her eyes, her mouth, even her nose into the funniest positions, whether she's imitating her mother imitating Julia Child or reenacting her horrified self..." The Boston Globe
"...her latest tour, Beautiful, which on April 4 saw Cho return to the more honest and personal material that marked her earlier years....Cho seems to have re-embraced the best of what made her big in the first place." Eye Weekly
"The sex-capade, and a subsequent tangent on pop culture divas...went over well with the packed audience, who was hooting and hollering its collective approval. Her political jabs, peppered throughout the show, were among her best and the show one of her consistently funniest." Bay Windows
"Of course, it wasn't her beauty or lessons of being beautiful that captured the audience's attention of a nearly sold-out theater. It was her comical anecdotes on political issues such as Iraq, sex scandals, prostitution and immigration that induced the entire laugh-filled evening." The Rebel Yell
"In a way, Beautiful is a return to I'm the One That I Want, the hit 1999 tour that marked her comeback from the failure of her sitcom, All-American Girl.....She made me uncomfortable, but she also got my attention. That's why Margaret Cho is so necessary. The sharpest comedy shows you the boundaries of your own tolerance, and pushes them. After Ellen
"While Cho’s ostensible message is a celebration of difference, you don’t feel hit over the head with this lesson—diversity is simply on display. “Funny” is the bottom line. There’s scarcely an act that isn’t as laugh-provoking as it is outré." Timeout New York
"Margaret Cho’s burlesque-cum-variety act is worth every hoot and catcall, not only for her zinger-filled standup, but for the freewheeling sexual demagoguery of the whole enterprise." NY Press
"90 minutes of fleshy hilarity that will make you turn to your neighbor and whisper, "Oh my God, is this really happening?" Washington Square News
"There are few comedians who can get away with what Cho easily captures. Her rough-around-the-edges attitude is adorably contrasted by her ability to relate to every audience member with ease." Pace Press
"….a happy and healthy dose of body positive antics that are so sweet, silly and approachable you can have a great time while completely forgetting to be aroused." Broadwayworld
"With Cho as mistress of ceremonies, “The Sensuous Woman” feels like a variety show from the Golden Age of Television, only dirtier and gayer." Chelsea Now
"Cho's goal isn't in delivering a party line, but in lining up a party that delivers — and "The Sensuous Woman" does" SF Gate
"Cho sparkles when she's alone on stage, providing her typically fierce observations about celebrities (Britney Spears gets a thumping), gay men and her own sex life. She looks more at home here than she ever has on stage..." International Herald Tribune (AP)
"Ms. Cho has become a beloved figure in the gay world for her down-and-dirty comic style, and her resplendently nasty opening monologue will not disappoint fans." New York Times
"Cho's ultimate point to such frank disclosure, one supposes, is that individuals should feel free to be as sensual as they want regardless of their physical attributes, age, sexuality or whatever the current fashion dictates. It's a positive message." Star Ledger
"Cho stars in several of the more risqué segments, as well as regaling the crowd with hilarious, politically inflected stand-up that promotes the idea that bodies of all shapes and sizes are beautiful." Theater Mania
"Giddy, gaudy and quite gay, this raunchy variety show sparkles whenever headliner Margaret Cho is front and center, alternating her standup gab with outre versions of classic striptease routines." Variety
"When Cho flashes that sunny grin after a self-abasing joke about oral sex, say, it plays as an ironic gloss, a feint to smooth over any awkwardness, which somehow only makes it funnier." Newsday
"Unashamed, unabashed, and most importantly undieted, she uses her dance to once and for all assume public control over the image that once cost her both her health and her mid-1990s sitcom All American Girl, and one can’t help but be inspired by the personal liberty she’s developed and displays so willingly." Talkin Broadway
"This is an anything goes, foul-mouthed, down and dirty satirical production that at is peak moments offers much hilarity, but obviously it is not for the prissy. Cho’s fans scream with delight, and if you are keyed to her brand of humor, there is much to enjoy." Wolf Entertainment Guide
"The show is gay, sexual, raunchy, empowering, and completely hilarious." Feminist Review
"The strip dances, stand-up acts and silly songs sold the show out in L.A.. Judging from the applause last night at the Zipper Factory, it seems New York might become hooked, too." NY Metromix
"Margaret Cho lit up the festival with a raucous array of ta-tas, tattoos, and tassels...Everyone in the cast was flapping a fan, not just the pretty girls - it was clear that Cho intended to blur some lines." SFBG Arts and Culture Blog
"Margaret gets feathery and fabulous in her spankin' new off-Broadway variety show." Go Magazine
From WikiQuote
From Her Tours and CDs
Assassin Tour
"Why do Republicans hate gay marriage so much? They certainly don't hate gay prostitutes." - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
"If you're against same sex marriage but you laugh your ass off to Will & Grace, FUCK YOU [holds up middle finger]. You are a hypocrite [pointing], and you're not allowed to pick and choose what you like from our culture, and leave behind the burden of inequality." - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
I have had enough of the Pope, the Pope who really held on, he really held on, he wasn't going anywhere, he was just fucking hanging on, and the press could not wait for him to die. They were just waiting outside that whole Saturday when he died, but he wouldn't die, all day they were just fucking waiting, like: "He's not dead yet! But he might be when we come back from this commercial!" - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
The Pope was so sick he couldn't even come to the window, he was so sick all he could manage is a "BLAAARGH (vomiting)". But even that "blargh" was anti-gay. - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
The Pope talks so much shit. The Pope was castigating the media for making gays look normal. YEAH, you're a real GOOD judge of normal, with your gold dress and your matching gold hat, living it up in the Vatican with 500 men surrounded by the finest antiques in the world! Queen, please! You live like Versace did! - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
"The way some of these politicians talk about homosexuality is very insulting. They treat it like it's a disease, like being gay is contagious. Being gay is not contagious. And if you think that it is, YOU'RE GAY." - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
Talking to John Kerry is like talking to an Ent. You know, the tree people from Lord of the Rings...[imitating an Ent] I believe that all Americans should have affordable healthcare... - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
[About Christian Groups]"They have no rights to call themselves "Christians", because they have no Christianity to them; they have no kindness, no compassion, no charity. I want Jesus to come back and say: "THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
They need to read the Scriptures; word says in Matthew, Chapter 4, verse 17, it says: "Shut the fuck up." - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
And especially, especially, don't fuck with vegans. Do not look vegans in the eye. If you get into an argument with a vegan, say "I'm wrong", and run away as fast as you can. Do not fuck with vegans because they will fuck you up...BECAUSE THEY'RE HUNGRY. - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
I became involved with this organization called MoveOn.org, and I got into it right in the middle of some serious stuff. So when I made some anti-Bush comments, I got this flood of emails from right wing supporters. I really wish I could say that they were productive emails but basically it was, "Fuck you you dirty Chink cunt bitch fag-hag. Go back to your country. Four more years! Dirty Chink dyke slut! Jesus saves!" So I posted them on my website, including the return-addresses, and some of these people wrote me from their work emails. So I had their work information, their names, their addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers, Blockbuster card numbers, favorite flavour of ice-cream. And the thing is, I guess I have this whole fanbase that is ready to go to bat for me. They're already pissed off, so they just need half a reason. And basically I discovered Al Gay-da. They are a sleeper cell you do not want to wake up. So suddenly these people are emailing me back: "Please take my info off of your site. I'm so sorry. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I shouldn't have said what I said. And please make these gay people go away. Please, hurry! I think Cirque de Soleil is warming up on my front lawn! - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
Drunk With Power CD
Something traumatic happened to me when I was younger. I was with this old black woman, and she was very wise, very Alice Walker, The Color Purple... She looked at me and she says, "Baby...you know I used to be able to fly but I can't fly no more, baby. But baby, you...? You too fat to fly." - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
I was working on this movie and the makeup artist was just so ugly! I just wanted to say "Physician, heal thyself!" She looked exactly like Aaron Neville, and she was trying her hardest to make me look exactly like Aaron Neville. This one time she leaned into my face with the mascara wand almost touching my eye and she says..."Whass my name?" - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
Then there was this extra on the set who runs up to me and says, "Oh, I know you! I know who you is, I seen you before. You that comedienne, Margaret Cho! I saw you at the Comedy Store. You was wearin' a kimono and you was bowin'." "No, that's the other one." "Oh, right! Now I remember. I just didn't recognize you because you've put on a little weight since your show." And it didn't piss me off that she said that, but it was that she said "You put on a lot of *gestures* weight!" so I'll know exactly where I put it. And it pissed me off, so I just sort of talked about it to everybody for the whole day. The next day I come into work and the assistant producer comes over to me and says, "Uh, you know that lady from the other day? Well don't worry. We took care of her." Oh my God! What did you do?! Suddenly I felt like I was running around like this tyrant, all drunk with power..."Nobody can call me fat on this set!" - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
So I was drinking tequila, and I was drinking grappa, which is Italian for gasoline, and I was drinking Jägermeister, which I believe is the liquid equivalent of Wonder Woman's golden lasso, because it will make you tell anybody the truth for no reason whatsoever. "You have really bad skin. Thanks for the drink." - Margaret Cho Funny Quotes
And I got so drunk, I got so drunk that I actually woke up thinking, "Should I get up and pee, or just pee in the bed?" Actually weighing the pros and the cons. "Well, it'll be warm for a minute... It's a big bed, I'll just roll over... I'll just blame it on that guy!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
This old fellow came up to me and asked, "Excuse me, are you Japanese?" No, I'm Korean. "Oh really, that's very interesting, because I was looking at you and I knew you were not Filipino. I have many Filipino friends and you do not look like them because you're very HUSKY!!" Is that supposed to be some kind of a compliment?! "Oh no, it's not bad, you're very strong, very HUSKY!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
[An article about Cho] started out, "Funny, sexy, zaftig Margaret Cho..." What is "zaftig?" Isn't that German for "big fat pig?" I guess I was lucky; "zaftig" is kind of a nice word. It could have been, "Funny, sexy, OBESE Margaret Cho." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I'm The One That I Want Tour
I love Karl Lagerfeld, and they [PETA] hate him because he showed fur in his collection, and they protested his fashion show. People were chanting outside, "KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER! KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER!" And I thought, "Wouldn't it be fabulous if Karl Lagerfeld actually was a murderer?" Like, what if he just fuckin' lost it one day...backstage, at a show, in Milan...and bludgeoned Elsa Klensch to death with a platform shoe. "I HATE THAT BLOUSE!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
The best part of any fashion show is Karl Lagerfeld with his white hair, and the big glasses, and a fuckin' fan. Like he's some kind of Spanish lady or something. And I look at the fan and I'm like, "Bitch, it's not that hot, what'choo doin'?" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I love the word "faggot," because it describes my kind of guy! You see, I am a fag hag. Fag hags are the backbone of the gay community. Without us, you're nothing! We have been there all through history guiding your sorry ass through the underground railroad! ...We went to the prom with you! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I love my gay male friends, but when I was a little girl I always used to wish that I would be constantly surrounded by gorgeous guys, and I am, and I should have been more specific. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
Thank God for gay men. Thank God for gay men, because if it were not for gay men, I would not talk to men at all. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like, "Are you a unicorn?" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
One of my friends has these ideas about how we should meet men. "What we should do on Friday night is we will fucking go get fucked up and fuck yea! we will fucking get fucked up and then we will fucking get tickets to go see the Chippendale's Dancers fuck yea! we will fucking get tickets to see the Chippendale's Dancers." ... I can get gay guys to dance in my house for free. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
The Chippendale's dancers are gay. They're gay. Because there is no such thing as a straight man with visible abdominal muscles. You have to suck cock to get that kind of muscle definition. It doesn't work for women. You know I tried, okay? - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
[Jo from The Facts of Life] was such a lesbian. Wasn't she the biggest lesbian? I used to watch that show, like, "Oh, she gonna fuck Blair!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
Lesbians love whale watching! They fuckin love it! THEY LOVE IT MORE THAN PUSSY! [...] It's any sea mammal really. Whales, manatees, dolphins. They go crazy for the dolphins. I don't know what it is - I think it's the blowhole. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
So I was on the ship, with 800 lesbians. We can't get off. So much drama. "Were you looking at her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her or her? WELL, WERE YOU?!" We all got on the same cycle. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
There was this really prim and proper British woman who used to run horse races for the lesbians on the ship, and the lesbians would get to name the horses, and the really prim and proper British woman would have to read out the names. "Horse number one, Galloping ... Clitoris... Horse number one, Galloping Clitoris. Very well, carry on... Horse number two.... No Dick for Me. Horse number two, No Dick for Me. Rather a rude name, don't you think? No Dick for Me? Should be, No Dick for Me, Thank You." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I slept with a woman on the ship, and afterwards I was thinking, "Am I gaaaay? Am I straaaaight?" And then I realized: I'm just slutty. Where's my parade? - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
My mom used to give me messages like this: "Ummmmmmm... Scott called.... IS HE THE GAY??!!" "Well, God, mom, I don't know if he's the gay... that's a lot of pressure on just one guy. He has to do the parade all by himself! 'I'm here! I'm queer! ...I guess I'm the only one.' " - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
A Korean reporter once asked me, 'Do you think your Korean parents are ashamed because you talk about what you talk about on stage?' I said, 'I don't think they're ashamed because they're Korean. I think any parents would be ashamed.' - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
The National Enquirer published this thing called the "Chow like Cho Diet," which was this fake diet that I never went on, with all these fake quotes from me, like "When I was a little girl, I was raised on rice and fish. So when I get heavy, I go back to that natural Asian way of eating." ... That is so Mulan. You can almost hear the mandolin in the background. "When I was a little girl, I grow up on the rice paddy... and although we have no food, I have a tendency to put on weight." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
It was hard for me to do the show (All American Girl) because a lot of people didn't even understand the concept of Asian-American. I was on a morning show, and the host said, 'Awright, Margaret, we're changing over to an ABC affiliate! So why don't you tell our viewers in your native language that we're making that transition?' So I looked at the camera and said, 'Um, they're changing over to an ABC affiliate.' - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
[quoting her producer] "The network is concerned. They're concerned about the fullness of your face. They think you're really overweight, and you're going to have to do something about it." ...I didn't know what to say to that. I always thought I was decent looking; I had no idea that I was a giant face taking over America! HERE COMES THE FACE!! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
We were taping the episodes of the show. I guess they had decided they could now fit my face onto a TV screen, and they wouldn't have to letterbox it. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I was on the floor in the emergency room, and the woman came up to me and said 'Hi, my name is Gwen and I'm here to wash your vagina!' - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
The first thing that you lose on a diet is brain mass. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I knew I was crazy because I was watching Jesus Christ Superstar and the part where Jesus carries the cross up the mountain, I actually said to myself, "Wow! That must be a really good workout! Yeah, because you're doing arms and cardio!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
Because I wasn't Asian enough - they decided to hire an Asian Consultant. Because I was fucking it up as an Asian. She would follow me around: "Margaret! Use chopsticks! And when you are done eating, you can put them in your hair. Now you're wearing shoes which is something we don't do in the house. Now I'm just going to leave this abacus right here..." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I stood in front of a hundred and one critics at a critic's convention, ... and a critic asked me, "Miss Cho, isn't it true that your management asked you to lose weight to play the part of yourself in your own TV show?" Gail [the producer] grabbed the mike from me and said, "There is no truth in that whatsoever." I... was so... hungry. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
So they cancelled our show, and gave the time slot to Drew Carey, because he's so skinny. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I gave a LOT of unnecessary head. And I know that guys are going to argue with me about this. "Oh, Margaret, there's no such thing as unnecessary head! All head is necessary! All head is wanted and needed in the world. I run a home for unnecessary head." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I am not gonna die because some network executive thought I was fat! It's so wrong! It's so wrong that women are asked to live up to this skinny ideal that is totally unattainable. For me to be ten pounds thinner is a full-time job, and I am handing in my notice and walking out the door!! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
I am not gonna die because I failed as someone else. I am gonna succeed as myself. And I'm gonna stay here and rock the mike until the next Korean-American, fag hag, shit starter, girl comic, trash talker, comes up and takes my place! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quotes
The Notorious C.H.O. Tour
No matter what these terrorists do, I refuse to be terrorized. ...All this requires is just a few alterations in our day to day lives. For example, my first instinct when I receive an envelope full of white powder... is to snort it! I just won't do that this time! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
There's a bar in Edinburgh called "CC Bloom's." CC Bloom is the name of the character that Bette Midler played in Beaches. That is the gayest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. That place should just be called "Fuck Me In The Ass...Bar and Grill." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
If you've ever bought drugs before, you understand that for some bizarre reason you have to feign this relationship with your dealer. It's like you're not really going to him to buy drugs. You're going for a social visit. Drugs are the surprise that just happens when you get there. "Oh Hash? I didn't know!" And he's talkin' to you and you're tryin' to be interested, you know, "Oh yeah? No, really ... I love Foghat. No, seriously." And inside you're like, "Just fuckin' give it! I hate you. Your house smells like cat pee!" Why do all drug dealers' houses smell like cat pee? - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I had a colonic irrigation in this clinic in Santa Monica, because people in Los Angeles cannot do anything for themselves, much less take a shit. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I didn't know if I was going to mention my period on stage, but then I figured, if Richard Pryor had a period, he would talk about it. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
"I do not need nobody tellin' me who I am! I know who I am!... I be walkin' down the hallway, they call me names. They call me faggot,
they call me sissy, I say, 'Oh yeah? Well, you forgot, I'm also a model and a actress, so fuck you too!'" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
o Notes: quoting her friends from high school, Alan and Jeremy
What I love most about gay men is the way that they are about sex. There is a kind of fun and frivolity that surrounds gay men and their sexuality that is not there for straight men and sex. I think if you're oppressed over who you want to sleep with, when you actually go and do it, you're gonna have a really good time. If you are hated for who you like to fuck, you are gonna kick up your heels and fuck...and it is such an inspiration to watch. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
It's just that it's been my experience in having sex with some straight men that the sex is over when he gets off. And I don't accept that. I want to have an orgasm. ...Not right now! This is the Isaac Stern Auditorium!... No. I want to have one. I will put a chalk board over the bed. One... one. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
There's no real way for women to really learn about sex in our culture... There are articles about sex in women's magazines, but that's not the kind of information I'm after. There was this article in Cosmopolitan about How To Look Good In Bed with your lover. It was these tips like, if you put your arm under your breasts they're higher... or if you're laying on your back, your stomach is flat, or if you're having anal sex, he can't see your cellulite! That is wrong, because I get so ugly when I fuck and I don't care. And if you care what I look like when you're fucking me, you shouldn't be fucking me in the first place!! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I can't even look at those "women's magazines" anyway. I love fashion, but I look at the pictures of the skinny models, and they're wearing clothes I can't even fit on my fingers. And I look at that and I think, if that is what a woman is supposed to look like, then I must not be one. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
So from the age of 10, I became anorexic, and then bulimic, and then stayed that way for about twenty years, until one day I just said, Hey, what if this is it? What if this is just what I look like, and nothing I do changes that? So how much time would I save if I stopped taking that extra second every time I look in the mirror to call myself a big fat fuck? How much time would I save if I just let myself walk by a plate-glass window without sucking in my gut and throwing back my shoulders? How much time would I save? And it turns out I save about 97 minutes a week. I can take a pottery class. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
It's gonna be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere, especially in women's and gay men's culture. It's all about how you have to look a certain way, or else you're worthless. You know, when you look in the mirror and think, "Ugh, I'm so ugly, I'm so fat, I'm so old." Don't you know that's not your authentic self? But that is billions upon billions of dollars of advertising. Magazines, movies, billboards, all geared to make you feel shitty about yourself, so you will take your hard earned money and spend it at the mall on some turn-around creme that doesn't turn around shit. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
If you are a woman, if you are a person of colour, if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, if you are a person of size, if you are person of intelligence, if you are a person of integrity, then you are considered a minority in this world. And it's going to be really hard for us to find messages of self-love and support anywhere.... If you don't have self-esteem, you will hesitate to do anything in your life.... You will hesitate to report a rape. You will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote; you will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution, and our revolution is long overdue. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
Revolution Tour
This is a very strange time we're living in, ... and I would feel a little bit better if George W. Bush could say the word "nuclear" correctly...You would have thought somebody would have said something by now. At the very least, Condoleezza Rice would have got up in his face, "Foo', it's NU-CLE-AR! Imma have'ta write it down fo'ya! ...I'm makin' flash cards for the President. This is...*shaking her head* mm-mmmm." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
Monogamy is so weird. Like when you know their name and stuff. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I helped deliver one of my best friend's children ... I just was so amazed by my friend, because she was not just a woman, she was not just a mother. At that moment she was creation; she was life; she was God. And as I looked in her eyes, BOOM, her pussy exploded. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I am secretly a costume drama queen. Oo, I love me some Merchant Ivory films! I do! If there is a petticoat and Helena Bonham Carter already I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. I love me some period films! And I know that I will never be in them. [...] I will never be in any of these movies unless I am laying down on my side smoking some opium. And I get offered movie roles all the time, but I say, "No! No! I don't want to play a manicurist. I don't want to play a really pissed-off liquor store owner. I don't want to go nowhere with a chicken under my arm. I don't want to play an exceptionally good student, I do not want to get off a tour bus and take numerous photographs, I do not ever want to utter the phrase, "Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond"! I don't want to write down all my memoirs about being a geisha! [...] What it is is that I cannot run up a wall!! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
The only thing that was sort of Asian [as a role model] was Hello Kitty. I don't want to model myself after Hello Kitty. She has no mouth. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I get nervous when people say to me, "I just can't tell any of you Asians apart!" Um, why do you have to tell us apart? Are we gonna be separated for some reason? I can't tell us apart! I was not born with a chip in my neck that would automatically identify every Asiatic person that I would come across. "beebeebeebeebeep Filipino." - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I was on a plane, and the steward was coming down the aisle. "Asian chicken salad... Asian chicken salad... Asian chicken salad..." And he gets to me and he's like, "...Chicken salad!" What does he think I'm gonna do? "Dis is not de salad of my people! In my homeland dey use mandarin orange slices ...and crispy wonton crunches!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
Women and eating disorders have such a long history, but now I see it happening to gay men. And when it comes to anorexia, bulimia, body dysmorphia, gay men are far more worse than women. They take it way more seriously. "Why diet when you can take crystal meth?" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I think everyone should go on my diet. It's called the Fuck It Diet. Basically what it is is if I want to eat something but it has a lot of fat or carbs, I just take a moment, and I go within, and I say "Fuck it" and I eat it. You have to do it six times a day. It works really well with the Fuck That Shit Exercise Program. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I'm very inappropriate, which makes me a problem dinner guest, because at some point during the evening someone inevitably says, "Okay, heh heh heh, okay, too much information! Heh heh heh. Don't go there!" I live there. I bought a house there. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
[on reacting to racism] I don't wanna be the better person. I don't wanna rise above it. I do wanna sink down to their level. I am not gonna turn the other cheek. "I'mma gonna show you what cheek I'mma turn, okay!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I got back from Toronto, where they had a severe outbreak of SARS - you know, Severe Asian Racism Syndrome. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I was in the airport and there were these big snowboarder guys and they had white masks around their necks, and as soon as they saw me, they put their masks on. So I just went "*cough, cough, cough* You wanna egg rorr?" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I would rather have a gay child. If you have a gay son, you know he's not gonna be shooting up his high school. That would get in the way of yearbook. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
[on having a gay child] And the Three Wise Drag Queens would come, bearing gifts of 1000-thread count sheets, hair products by Frederic Fekkai, and a copy of the Immaculate Collection. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I would be happy to have a gay child. He would be a Boy Scout, and he would teach all the other Boy Scouts how to build a fire with two sticks and a back-handed compliment. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
[My gay child] would be a soldier, and he would change the slogan from "Don't ask, don't tell" to "Don't fuck with me, queen!!" - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
...Silence equals nonexistence. If I don't give too much information, if I don't go there, it's like I was never "there" in the first place. I noticed this most right after September 11, when there were no gays or lesbians invited to give their opinion about what was going on. There were no women invited to give their opinion. There were hardly any people of color invited, and if they were, they were Muslim Americans and Arab Americans talking about the violence that they had experienced because they shared the same skin color as the terrorists, which is heinous and dumb! That's like arresting Emmanuel Lewis because Gary Coleman punched that woman! - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I am hurt because somebody just got called a fag, or a dyke, or a pansy, or a sissy, or a bulldyke, or a chink, or a nigger, or a kike, or a wetback, or an injun, or a jap, or a bitch, or a whore, or a cunt, and unless to you that's a term of endearment... in the right context, it is... that person is being attacked because of who they are, and I don't accept that. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
If racial minorities, sexual minorities, feminists both male and female, hell, all liberals got together and had this big "too much information," "go there," voice... that would equal power. And that power would equal change. And that change would equal a revolution. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I think that gay people should have the right to get married by Elvis like everybody else. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
From Her Weblog
San Francisco fucking rules. I am so proud of my home town for legalizing gay marriage, sending gays and lesbians down to the city by the Bay that was built on rock and roll to tie the knot. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion. A matter of taste, a whim, an eye, a beholder, an opinion, a spin, light crossing the frame, paint, projection. The moment. Context. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
I don't think I enjoy the awards show press gauntlet anymore. At least this year I had the best gown ever, designed by Derek of Narcisse, a couture peacock feather fantasy, which was named the Worst Dress of the 2004 Grammys by E!, Entertainment Tonight, Joan Rivers and Steven Cojocaru - which means it was the best dress there. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
We have been threatened by a local conservative group who said they will picket the show unless I am fired and taken off the bill and replaced by someone else. Sorry. I am now more excited than ever to meet y'all. Personally, if you are going to picket a show, fine, but the fact that you are picketing my show, means you are stepping up to me, which means some very bad things could possibly happen to you. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
Then there is Dick Cheney, who essentially said that if Kerry is voted in as president, terrorism will hit America again. How is that? Is Cheney going to make some calls? Apparently he has the hook up. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
This presidential race is the biggest dick contest in history. "Your dick is indecisive!" "Your dick started an unnecessary war!" "Your dick didn't get injured enough in Vietnam!" "Your dick didn't even go to Vietnam!" "Your dick is soft on terrorism!" "Your dick started terrorism!" "Your dick blamed Vietnam vets for atrocities that made all vets unable to come home to a hero's welcome." "Your dick forged its way out of military service!" Has this kind of dick waggling happened before outside of a pro- wrestling context? - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
So when some man says to me, "Don't you wish you were beautiful?" those are like killing words. That's my death, if I don’t pummel it into his soft, not yet completely formed radio disc jockey skull that I am already beautiful, and I wish for nothing, other than for him to go away. I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. ... You can't even get to me. I got special service, boundaries like the rings of Saturn. I am protected. I am four – five faggots deep all around me, who don't see your name on the list, who will not let you in here looking like that, who will hold you in a cold, hard, unflinching stare or back hand compliment you until you cry. ... If you even had the courage to ask me out you would have to do it by mail, sent months in advance, on a single 5 by 7 sheet of eggshell vellum, signed in blood and sealed in gold and scented with a light mist of the new fragrance by alan cumming, just so I could throw it away without becoming repulsed. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
It is a good life, if I watch myself. Kind of like when I used to diet, but now instead of limiting calories, I will not allow negative self talk. I cut out insults like I cut out carbs and it is hard as hell because I crave self abuse like hot, fresh sourdough bread, but you know you have to be nice to you if you are going to live together. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
Others
I wanna fuck her, but I don't want to vote for her. - Margaret Cho Comedy Quote
On Sarah Palin, interview with Perez Hilton
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