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Born: November 4, 1960 (1960-11-04), Oak Park, Illinois, U.S.
Medium: stand-up comedy, television, film
Nationality: American
Years active: 1980s – present
Subject: Celebrities, gossip, pop culture
Influences: Joan Rivers, Don Rickles, Johnny Carson
Notable works and roles: Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, Suddenly Susan
Emmy Awards: Outstanding Reality Program: 2007 Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, 2008 Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
Kathleen "Kathy" Griffin (born November 4, 1960)[1] is an American stand-up comedian, actress and media personality. A self-proclaimed "D-list celebrity", Griffin first gained recognition for her supporting role on the NBC sitcom Suddenly Susan, and is now the star of the Bravo reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List. She has also worked as a voice artist and red carpet commentator, in addition to several other career pursuits.
Career
Stand-up comedy, TV, and film
Griffin began performing in the early 1980s Los Angeles improv comedy troupe, The Groundlings. In an E! True Hollywood Story segment, she stated that she often went to see the Groundlings perform before she joined. She said at one show, she went backstage and talked with a Groundling member (Phil Hartman) and asked him what The Groundlings were all about. Struggling to make it in the Los Angeles acting scene, says Griffin, I resorted to joining the "the Groundlings" after a failed audition for the lead role in Harriet the Spy (film) This led to her taking classes there and eventually being asked into the Main Company.
She went on to perform stand-up comedy and became part of the burgeoning alternative comedy scene in Los Angeles, appearing at Un-Cabaret and her own show "Hot Cup of Talk,"[2] later the title of Griffin's 1998 solo HBO special.
She did some acting, breaking into film with the supporting role of Connie in the horror movie The Unborn (1991), starring Brooke Adams.
Griffin gradually amassed such TV and film credits as a role in comedian Julie Brown's Medusa: Dare to Be Truthful (1992), a Showtime parody of the backstage film Truth or Dare (1991); two appearances as the character Susan Klein, a reporter, on NBC's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, her TV sitcom debut; fellow comic Bob Goldthwait's movie Shakes the Clown (1992); as the enthusiastic leader of a fanatical car club on the "Ellen" episode "Oh, Sweet Rapture," airing in January, 1996; and an episode of ABC's divorce-attorney series Civil Wars, Griffin's dramatic-series debut. In addition, she most recently appeared on the show Ugly Betty as a fashion channel reporter.
After starring in an HBO Half Hour Comedy Special, Griffin's first consistent public exposure came in 1996, when she was cast as the acerbic colleague of Brooke Shields' title character on the NBC sitcom Suddenly Susan. In 1998, Griffin starred in her first one-hour special, HBO's Kathy Griffin: A Hot Cup of Talk. She honed a comedy and television career that poked fun at her relatively modest place in the Hollywood hierarchy in a self-deprecating manner. She frequently appears in such self-consciously tacky projects as the reality show competition Celebrity Mole Hawaii — in which she won the 2003 edition after undergoing such experiences as walking over hot lava with her bare feet. She identifies her victory as the moment she became a "D-list" celebrity.
Griffin also has a secondary career in voiceover work, and has been featured on a variety of projects such as the animated series Dilbert and Spider-Man: The New Animated Series.
Griffin's TV production company is called, "Inappropriate Laughter," a reference to her sometimes shocking form of humor.
On June 12, 2008 Griffin hosted the first ever Bravo A-List Awards. Included in the show was a scene where Griffin mimicked a "wardrobe malfunction" (referring to the now famous Janet Jackson Super Bowl halftime show controversy in 2004).
Kathy Griffin's official website has confirmed that she will again host the 2009 Bravo A-List Awards set to be aired on Apri 15, 2009. Kathy's new Bravo Special will air right after the A-List Awards on April 15, 2009. Her official website has also confirmed the name of her new special to be, Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a B****. The special was taped on March 4, 2009 in Portland, Oregon.
Guest co-host of The View
Kathy Griffin served as the unofficial guest co-host of The View from May 2007 to September 2007. Griffin was considered to join the panel of The View in fall 2007 as a replacement for departing panelist Rosie O'Donnell.[3][4] Despite running jokes in her act about Executive Producer Barbara Walters not liking her, Griffin co-hosted the show many times after O'Donnell left in May 2007. Whoopi Goldberg was ultimately selected as a permanent replacement. On September 10, 2007 Sherri Shepherd took over the remaining co-host spot, vacant since Star Jones' departure. Bill Zwecker of the Chicago Sun-Times reports that a source tells him that The View is having second thoughts about hiring Sherri Shepherd over Griffin, although both The View and Walters' spokespersons deny this. Walters has stated that she was worried about hiring another loose cannon after the troubles with Rosie O'Donnell.
Griffin recently divulged in her stand-up that she is now banned from The View after talking about the gig on her most recent televised comedy special, Kathy Griffin: Straight to Hell.[5][6] While declining to discuss the ban on Access Hollywood,[7] during the filming of an episode for My Life on the D-List with former View co-host/moderator Rosie O'Donnell, Griffin did talk about the ban, specifically targeting View executive producer Bill Geddie. Griffin has also been mentioned as a possible replacement for Barbara Walters.
"Near-Death Experience"
In early 2007, Griffin was traveling to a performance in Stockton, California. She was in a private chartered plane, and the transponder caught fire. She and the rest of the people on board made it safely to the ground.[8]
First season
2005 saw the debut of Griffin's solo reality show Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List, on the cable network Bravo. The show was originally developed as a scripted sitcom for NBC after her popular appearances on Seinfeld, where she played a version of herself, landed her a development deal with the network. Although that sitcom never materialized, NBC chose to develop a similar version as a reality show on its sister channel, Bravo. The show also featured then-husband Matt Moline, her parents, her dogs, and her personal assistant Jessica Zajicek. The first season of the program was nominated for a 2006 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Reality Program, non-competition.
Second season and Emmy Awards controversy
The second season, which premiered on June 6, 2006, brought Griffin the 2007 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Reality Program, non-competition, on September 8, 2007. She received it during the Creative Arts Emmy, which was hosted by Carlos Mencia and aired on E! on September 15. Griffin stirred up controversy with her acceptance speech, saying,
"Now, a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is suck it, Jesus, this award is my god now!"[9]
Kathy Griffin meant this remark not as a slight on Jesus but rather as a satire of celebrities who thank Jesus profusely and nonsensically for their awards, especially artists who themselves are controversial.[10]
Her remarks were quickly condemned by the Catholic League which urged the academy to "denounce Griffin's obscene and blasphemous comment."[11] The Academy said that her "offensive remarks will not be part of the E! telecast on Saturday night".[12] Griffin later responded, "Am I the only Catholic left with a sense of humor?"[13] The editing was condemned in two consecutive episodes 1 2 of Freethought Radio, the latter containing the deleted material. Annie Laurie Gaylor in particular objected to the comment being described as "hate speech."[citation needed] Fox News commentator Bill O'Reilly called Griffin a "pinhead" (a label he frequently uses) for her remark, which Griffin considered a "badge of honor."[14][15]
Third season
The third season premiered on June 5, 2007, to an all-time ratings high for the Bravo Network, with over 1 million viewers, a 77 percent increase in viewers aged 18 to 49, and a 57 percent increase in overall viewers.[16] The new season introduced Tom Vize, who was hired as a dog walker but was promoted to Griffin's housemate and tour manager, and Tiffany Rinehart, Jessica's assistant; it also covered an emotional period of her life during the death of her father. In July 2008, the third season was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award, racking up three consecutive nominations in the Outstanding Reality Program, non-competition category for the show. In September 2008, Griffin won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Reality Program for the second year in a row.
Fourth season
Season Four of My Life on the D-List premiered June 12, 2008. During the fourth season, Griffin introduced her now former boyfriend, Apple co-founder and billionaire Steve Wozniak. In the beginning of the first episode, Griffin looks back at what has happened between the end of taping for season three up to the beginning of taping for season four. This includes her Emmy win and controversial Emmy acceptance speech. Celebrity cameos have also been plentiful throughout the season, with guest appearances by Ricky Gervais, Lance Bass, Molly Shannon, Olivia Newton-John, Rosie O'Donnell, Megan Mullally, Cyndi Lauper, Margaret Cho, Michael McDonald, and Mario Cantone to name a few.
Fifth season
On November 18, 2008 Kathy Griffin confirmed that Bravo will continue to be the home for her Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List reality series. On November 19, 2008, shooting began on episodes for Season 5.
Style of humor
While Griffin established her career with candid observations about her dating life, later focusing on mocking celebrities, her act currently consists of recounting embellished stories involving celebrities. Her favorite celebrity topics are plastic surgery, Scientology, drunkenness, substance abuse, snooty attitudes, eating disorders, and stars whose sexual orientation is disputed. Among Griffin's staples are Paris Hilton, Clay Aiken, Barbara Walters, Whitney Houston, Larry David, Celine Dion, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jerry Seinfeld, Star Jones, Paula Abdul, Oprah Winfrey, Britney Spears, Ryan Seacrest and Lindsay Lohan.
Griffin is sometimes the object of her own humor, particularly with regard to her D-List status. While Griffin paints herself as a Hollywood outsider,
she has a group of close celebrity friends such as Rosie O'Donnell, Joan Rivers, Jerry Seinfeld, Brooke Shields, Whoopi Goldberg, Jennifer Coolidge,
Larry David, Ricky Gervais, and Lance Bass. Griffin's longtime friendship with Bass was the catalyst for a feud between her and gossip blogger
Perez Hilton, in which Griffin expressed anger over Hilton's "outing" of Bass on his website, calling Hilton's attacks on Bass "mean" and "unfunny".[17][18]
Hilton responded by saying that Griffin's anger was hypocritical, considering all of the gay jokes she makes about Clay Aiken in her stand-up routines.[17]
In 2007, Griffin commented on her aversion to making fun of celebrity friends by saying, "There's nothing I won't do, but on the other hand
I'm full of shit because that changes. For example, you know Lance Bass
from 'N Sync and how he's gay now? All those years that I knew he was gay, he and I were friends, I would never say, 'Hey, by the way, did you know that
Lance Bass is gay?'"[19] Griffin and Hilton ended their feud after the death of Griffin's father, and Hilton appeared on an episode of her show
in 2007.[18] Yet in July 2008, he asserted that Griffin's assistant Jessica Zajicek had quit because she couldn't take Griffin's now hectic career. Griffin
dismissed these statements as false as Zajicek is still working for Griffin.[20][21]
Her style has led to a number of controversies. Griffin has claimed to be banned from appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Live with Regis and Kelly, Late Show with David Letterman, and The Ellen DeGeneres Show. She recently got rebanned from The View because of a joke she made about Barbara Walters. She says Ellen's producers told her they can't have her "trashing celebrities."[22] However, Griffin appeared as a guest on The Ellen Degeneres Show on September 11, 2007.[23] One of the most notable controversies occurred when she made a joke during a 2005 E! televised event that the child actress Dakota Fanning had entered rehab.[24] This incident got Griffin fired from hosting duties on E!'s red-carpet award show coverage. Nevertheless, E! purchased rights to air My Life on the D-List for its British channel, a fact she noted in an episode of season 3.
Griffin has claimed to have been fired from an appearance on the show Hannah Montana, on account of her Emmy acceptance speech. According to Griffin "the instructions literally came down, 'We don't want her anywhere near the building.'"[25] Griffin hit back in her comedy act joking that Miley Cyrus "...has been flashing her green bra and posing topless."[26]
In May 2006, Griffin visited the troops in Kuwait who were on their way to service in Iraq. She had dinner at the chow hall with many troops including Seabees from Naval Mobile Construction Battalion-25.
Personal life
Griffin describes herself as a "militant atheist".[27] While in high school, she fell away from the Roman Catholic Church and wanted to become a Unitarian. Said Griffin: "I'm not really sure what that is, but it sounds better."[28]
She is an outspoken opponent of LASIK eye surgery, having endured a series of operations for her own eyesight that left her partially blind in one eye with a visible eyeball deformity.[29] She is open about her multiple plastic surgeries, and claims that fat "grew back" after her liposuction procedure.
Her father, John Patrick Griffin, died of heart failure on February 17, 2007, during the shooting of the third season of her reality show; he was 90 years old. The episode related to his death aired on June 19, 2007.
She placed 17th on Oxygen's 2007 list of "The 50 Funniest Women Alive."
On February 12, 2001, Griffin appeared on The Howard Stern Show and discussed several aspects of her personal life.
-She mentioned that she "lightly dated" N'Sync member Joey Fatone.
-At the 2000 Billboard Music Awards, she planned to say a joke directed at Britney Spears in regards to her nipples, but since another member of
N'Sync was dating Britney, Griffin randomly directed the joke towards Toni Braxton instead. Toni became very irate over it since she had been
rushed to the hospital recently due to an incident with her breast implants. It was reported in the news that later that night, Griffin nearly
got into a fight with pop singer Pink, but Griffin explained that the incident was completely false.
-She clarified that she was never romantically linked to Joel Anderson (from the TV show Survivor).
-She mentioned that she is a friend of Jenny McCarthy. Jenny was invited to Griffin's wedding.
-She discussed the fact that she and Matt Moline had not signed pre-nuptial agreements.
-She told Stern that she does not drink any alcohol based on an incident that occurred when she was very young. While choking at the dinner table,
she was handed her father's stein of beer. After taking two "gulps", she thought it tasted disgusting.
-She is a friend of Lisa Kudrow. Kudrow wasn't invited to Griffin's wedding because Kudrow had become very famous and both hadn't had a chance
to see each other in a long time.
Marriage and relationships
Griffin married Washington, D.C. native Matt Moline on February 18, 2001 atop the 360 Degree Restaurant in Hollywood. ABC News reported that she walked down the aisle to the strains of the 1980s power ballad "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger. Her maid of honor was Brooke Shields, and the wedding was attended by, among others, Rebekah Kelley, Camryn Manheim, Bill Maher, James Williams, and Jane Krakowski.
Although they appeared to have a loving and supportive relationship on her reality show, there were problems beneath the surface. After briefly separating and reconciling in 2005, they divorced in May 2006. Griffin had her tattooed wedding ring laser-removed after her divorce.[30] On Larry King Live, Griffin accused her husband of stealing $72,000 from her. In a written statement, he declined to respond to the allegations publicly.[31]
Since July 2007, rumors had circulated that Griffin had been dating Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak.[32] They attended the 2007 Emmy Awards together[33]
and speculations rose when the two were interviewed together on the red carpet. On September 18, 2007, US Weekly reported that Griffin and Wozniak
were engaged, however, neither Griffin nor Wozniak confirmed the rumor.[34] During a January 2008 interview on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Griffin confirmed
that Wozniak will be a regular guest on the fourth season of her reality show.[35] On Tom Green's House Tonight on February 6, Griffin confirmed
her relationship with Wozniak. When asked if she actually targeted Wozniak to make her ex-husband jealous, Griffin stated "What better way
to get back at my ex, who was a tech, than to marry the biggest techno-nerd in the Universe?" Wozniak and Griffin served as King and Queen
of the Humane Society of Silicon Valley Fur Ball on April 5, 2008 in Santa Clara, California, and
scenes for the fourth season of My Life on the D-List were taped. [36] However, as of June 2008, it has been confirmed that Griffin and Wozniak are no
longer dating and have decided to remain friends.[37] As noted in a postscript on the August 7, 2008 episode of My Life On The D-List, Wozniak is currently
engaged to another woman, but it did not mention who she was. According to Griffin, “He met someone very quickly and then they [got] engaged. I have
had dinner with them, and she’s a thousand times more appropriate! I hate to say it, but in the Bruce, Demi, Ashton [scheme of things], I’m the Bruce!”
Filmography
-The Unborn (1991)
-Shakes the Clown (1992)
-Pulp Fiction (1994)
-It's Pat (1994)
-Four Rooms (1995)
-The Cable Guy (1996)
-Who's the Caboose? (1997)
-Trojan War (1997)
-Courting Courtney' (1997)
-Can't Stop Dancing (1999)
-Dill Scallion (1999)
-Muppets from Space (1999)
-Lion of Oz (2000) (voice)
-The Intern (2000)
-Enemies of Laughter (2000)
-On Edge (2001)
-Run Ronnie Run (2002)
-Beethoven's 5th (2003)
-Dirty Love (2005)
-Dinotopia: Quest for the Ruby Sunstone (2005) (voice)
-Her Minor Thing (2005)
-Love Wrecked (2005)
-Bachelor Party Vegas (2006)
-Judy Toll: The Funniest Woman You've Never Heard of (2007) (documentary)
-In Search of Puppy Love (2007) (documentary)
-Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project (2007) (documentary)
-Heckler (2007) (documentary)
-Around the World in 50 Years 3D (2009)
Television Work
-Medusa: Dare to Be Truthful (1992)
-Big News (1995) (unsold pilot)
-The Barefoot Executive (1995)
-Suddenly Susan (1996 - 2000)
-Premium Blend (host from 1997 - 1998)
-Kathy Griffin: Hot Cup of Talk (1998)
-Jackie's Back (1999)
-The X-Files (1999)
-Dilbert (1999 - 2000) (voice)
-A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000)
-Kathy's So Called Reality (2001) (canceled after 3 months)
-Hollywood Squares (frequent regular from 2001 - 2004)
-The Mole (cast member in 2003)
-Kathy Griffin: The D-List (2004)
-Half & Half (2004)
-Kathy Griffin Is... Not Nicole Kidman (2005)
-Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List (2005 - present)
-Kathy Griffin: Strong Black Woman (2006)
-Kathy Griffin: Everybody Can Suck It (2007)
-Kathy Griffin: Straight to Hell (2007)
-Kathy Griffin: She'll Cut a B**** (2009)
-Rosie Live (2008)
-"Privileged" (2009)
Discography
On June 10, 2008, Griffin released a comedy CD titled For Your Consideration.[38] It is Griffin's first audio-only release of her stand-up material.[citation needed] The disc was recorded at the ETK Theatre at the Grand Theatre Center For The Arts in Tracy, California on February 17, 2008.[39] Included on the disc are her takes on various celebrities and her personal life. Griffin stated that she decided to release this CD to try to win a Grammy award.[39] On December 3rd, 2008, Griffin was nominated for a Grammy for Best Comedy Album.
Award wins and nominations
2006 Emmy Award Outstanding Reality Program, Non-Competition No "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List"
2007 Emmy Award Outstanding Reality Program, Non-Competition Yes "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List"
2008 PGA Awards Non-Fiction Television No "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List"
2008 GLAAD Media Awards Outstanding Reality Series Yes "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List"
2008 Emmy Award Outstanding Variety, Music Or Comedy Special No "Kathy Griffin: Straight To Hell"
2008 Emmy Award Outstanding Reality Program Yes "Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List"
2009 PGA Awards Non-Fiction Television No "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List"
2009 Grammy Award Best Comedy Album No "Kathy Griffin: For Your Consideration
2009 GLAAD Media Awards Outstanding Reality Series TBA "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List"
Other appearances
Griffin has made frequent appearances on reality programs and game shows.
-Griffin appeared on Whose Line Is It Anyway? several times.
-Griffin appeared on CNN with news anchor Anderson Cooper to host a New Year's Eve show in 2007 and 2008.
-Griffin starred in a humorous episode of The X-Files entitled "Fight Club." She portrayed two identical women (doppelgängers) who do
not know each other, but whose meetings cause others to behave violently.
-Griffin is a favorite of the late night radio call-in show Loveline, once hosted by Adam Carolla.
-She has played on Celebrity Poker Showdown for the Face to Face: National Domestic Violence Project charity.
-She appeared on a Comedy Edition episode of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, and won $32,000 for charity.
-Griffin was also on a Celebrity Edition of Weakest Link, but lost to Aisha Tyler in the final round.
-She appeared as a panelist on the June 22, 2006 episode of CBS' "Gameshow Marathon," which recreated the Match Game.
-Griffin appeared in the music video for Eminem's 2000 single, The Real Slim Shady, as an attending nurse in a psychiatric ward. Griffin said during
a July 21, 2005, interview on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno that Eminem selected her for the video because fellow rapper Snoop Dogg told him she
was "really funny." The single was noted for its caustic criticism of certain celebrities and the entertainment industry.[40]
-Griffin, Jim Gaffigan, Debra Wilson, and Michael Ian Black have starred together in several commercials for Sierra Mist soda.
-Jerry Seinfeld was so amused by Griffin's caustic comments about him in her standup act that he cast her in the Seinfeld episode "The Cartoon",
as standup comic Sally Weaver, who makes fun of him. She had previously appeared in "The Doll", in the seventh season.
-She won the first edition of Celebrity Mole.
-In a Family Guy episode, A Picture Is Worth a 1,000 Bucks, Griffin was briefly referenced, where she is portrayed as the fast-talking and rambling
cousin of protagonist Peter Griffin.
-Griffin was interviewed in her limousine by Fausto Fernós of the Feast of Fools in December 2005.[41]
-Griffin appeared in Quentin Tarantino's film Pulp Fiction as a witness to Bruce Willis hitting Ving Rhames with his car.
-Griffin appeared on Loose Women alongside Jackie Brambles, Jane McDonald, Denise Welch and Carol McGiffin. She referred to them as "British
uptight chicks who don't get me" on her show.
-Griffin appeared on an episode of The Suze Orman Show on CNBC, discussing her finances
-Some of her earliest, raunchiest and most personal performance material can be heard on the Un-Cabaret compilation CD Freak Weather Feels Different
-Griffin had a show on MTV called "Kathy's So Called Reality" where she and a panel of comedians made jibes at reality shows.
-Kathy Griffin was the voice of Alice of the short lived Animated show Dilbert.
-Kathy has also appeared numerous times on CNN's Larry King Live. On one of these occasions (July 25, 2008), she sat in for Larry.
-Kathy Griffin appeared in The Simpsons as Francine Rhenquist in the episode "Bye Bye Nerdie".
-Kathy Griffin appeared in two episodes of Spider-Man: The New Animated Series as Roxanne in "Mind Games, Part One" and "Mind Games,
Part Two".
-Kathy Griffin appeared in a episode of Stripperella in titled "The Bridesmaid" as Molly Lumpkin aka The Birdesmaid.
-Kathy Griffin voices herself in the episode "Ping-pong" of Dr Katz.
-Kathy Griffin appeared in the sixth episode of How's Your News? and was asked by Susan Harrington about Ryan Cecrest and referred to him as a
girl on purpose.
“[Listen to the way she talks up, and down, Angelina Jolie:] I think the work she does for the ambassador to the U.N. is fantastic, ... 'Cause
let me tell you something: I don't want to go to the Sudan. You know, from what I've seen on television, I don't want to go anywhere near the Congo.
And she's going there, picking kids up, left and right, god love her. But she's also ridiculous, alright? You know, she's got the lips that look
like an inflamed anus. Alright, I know that's sexy to a lot of guys. But have you ever had a haemorrhoid? 'Cause that's what it looks like.”
Kathy Griffin
“What I would really love is to be on a sitcom again, ... Everybody talks about Desperate Housewives - that's one show, and they're all gorgeous.
But where's the Roseanne ? Where's the real women who are funny? That's where I come in.”
Kathy Griffin
A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them
or challenges them or even teases them.
Kathy Griffin
A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.
Kathy Griffin
Have I gone too far?
Kathy Griffin
I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
Kathy Griffin
I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.
Kathy Griffin
I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.
Kathy Griffin
I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.
Kathy Griffin
I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that
is not my style.
Kathy Griffin
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
Kathy Griffin
I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.
Kathy Griffin
I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
Kathy Griffin
I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
Kathy Griffin
I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.
Kathy Griffin
I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.
Kathy Griffin
My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.
Kathy Griffin
So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.
Kathy Griffin
So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.
Kathy Griffin
The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.
Kathy Griffin
Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
Kathy Griffin
KATHY GRIFFIN, FEMALE COMEDIAN: I am nervous.
Larry King: Don't be nervous.
Kathy Griffin: Well, why are you --
Larry King: I know --
Kathy Griffin: -- yelling at me?
Larry King: I'm not yelling, I'm --
Kathy Griffin: You're already yelling at me.
Larry King: It's always great to have her with us.
Kathy Griffin, living large and single in her third season as the star of "Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List" on Bravo TV.
She'll appear tomorrow night at the huge Universal Amphitheater here in Los Angeles. She's become a major figure on the American comedy scene.
On a previous appearance on this show you talked about your divorce.
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: I don't want to get into that.
But what's it like to be single again?
Kathy Griffin: I'm sluttier than I ever thought I would be.
Larry King: Sluttier?
Kathy Griffin: Yes. That's right.
Larry King: You're an easy mark?
Kathy Griffin: Is this already different than the Liz Taylor interview?
Larry King: What are you talking about?
Kathy Griffin: Well, I know you just had Liz on.
Did she ever admit to being slutty?
Larry King: No.
Kathy Griffin: Are you sure?
Maybe in the commercial break?
Larry King: She's a -- no, she's a classy film star.
Kathy Griffin: Let me tell you something, you have had -- don't ever call me classy.
You have had some really good guests recently.
Larry King: Thank you.
Kathy Griffin: All right?
Liz Taylor.
Now what's it like in the commercial break with Liz Taylor?
Larry King: She's fun.
Kathy Griffin: Does she get her meds?
Larry King: (LAUGHTER).
Kathy Griffin: You know what I mean, Larry.
Larry King: No, I know what you mean. No, she does not.
Kathy Griffin: Is there like any oxygen or a tank --
Larry King: No. She's --
Kathy Griffin: Is there a tank of any kind?
Larry King: Reports of her death are premature.
Kathy Griffin: I know. And I like how she has to do a tour about it. Larry King: (INAUDIBLE) --
Kathy Griffin: She has to go on shows and say I'm alive.
Larry King: I'm not dead yet.
Kathy Griffin: Yes, "The I'm Not Dead Yet Tour."
Larry King: What's it like being single?
Kathy Griffin: What's Al Pacino like?
Larry King: A great guy.
Kathy Griffin: Really?
Larry King: One of the best guys there is.
Kathy Griffin: OK, now I have to -- because I watch the show every night. You know that. So I see Al Pacino and then I see you peddling -- which I think is B.S. -- that you're best friends with him.
Larry King: Not best friends, good friends.
Kathy Griffin: Come on.
What does that mean?
Larry King: We're friends.
Kathy Griffin: Like Hollywood --
Larry King: We socialize --
Kathy Griffin: -- fakey friends?
Larry King: He lives eight blocks from me.
Kathy Griffin: Is there a restraining order?
Larry King: No --
Kathy Griffin: I mean on either party?
Larry King: He has children. They come over. We play.
Kathy Griffin: What are your kids -- your kids are named Cain and Abel or Cody and Cassidy?
Larry King: Chance and Cannon. You're making -- don't make fun of them. Don't -- don't ever make fun of the --
Kathy Griffin: I -- I thought it was biblical. I thought Cain and Abel. I'm very, very sorry.
Larry King: Chance -- that would have been nice, though. Kathy Griffin: Are they single?
Larry King: They're eight and seven.
Kathy Griffin: I -- look it, don't judge me, all right?
Larry King: (LAUGHTER).
Kathy Griffin: -- because it's never too young to start.
Larry King: They're rather good looking, too.
Kathy Griffin: What about me and Pacino?
Could you hook that up?
Larry King: Hey, I'll tell him. I'll bet --
Kathy Griffin: You don't even know him, Larry.
Larry King: What would --
Kathy Griffin: You know you don't know him.
Larry King: OK. All right. I don't know him.
If I can reach him through an intermediary --
Kathy Griffin: You tell him I'm --
Larry King: -- what would a date with Al Pacino be like?
Kathy Griffin: You tell him I'm a sure thing.
Larry King: Oh, he -- the first night?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, the first phone call. I'm like a hooker. We arrange it ahead of time.
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: And I book the hotel, something nice and a good sized suite, at least 800 square feet. And, yes --
Larry King: Are you really into fooling around now that you're single?
Kathy Griffin: Don't use language like fooling around, because that's very vulgar.
Larry King: All right, how would you apply it, then?
Kathy Griffin: Banging.
Now, look --
Larry King: (LAUGHTER). Kathy Griffin: -- Lar, don't look at the contest winners.
Do they know about the contest?
Larry King: They'll be on -- I'll have to explain that later.
Kathy Griffin: All right. There's a contest here. You know, that's very D-List.
I can't ever have my own hour?
It's me and a contest.
Larry King: They're -- they wanted to see --
Kathy Griffin: And it's called The Suspender Contest, is pitiful.
Larry King: OK.
OK, we have a --
Kathy Griffin: So I'm banging Al Pacino --
Larry King: All right. OK. I'll tell Al.
Kathy Griffin: All right.
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: OK.
Larry King: We have an e-mail question. We have a few tonight. We'll be taking your phone calls, too.
This e-mail is from John in Washington, D.C.: "If Larry were single" -- that means me, I guess.
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: -- "would you date him?"
Kathy Griffin: You're a little young for me. Frankly, I don't know if you have enough scratch. You know what I mean, a little of this.
What do you make a year?
Larry King: I do all right.
Kathy Griffin: What ballpark?
What do you make?
Larry King: What -- I'm not going to go into that.
Kathy Griffin: Like $60,000?
Larry King: Over.
Kathy Griffin: $70,000?
Larry King: Over.
Kathy Griffin: No kidding?
I like it.
Larry King: What have you been dating?
Kathy Griffin: (LAUGHTER). Car mechanics and pool boys. I keep it simple. I keep it basic.
Larry King: A lot of --
Kathy Griffin: You know, Jimmy Kimmel said that to me.
Larry King: By the way, how is he doing?
He had a --
Kathy Griffin: He had an appendectomy today.
Larry King: The reason I asked.
Kathy Griffin: That's right.
Larry King: He's, OK, I understand.
Kathy Griffin: I guess he's 12. Don't you have your appendix out when you're 12?
Larry King: Yes.
Kathy Griffin: Well, he's immature, that's why.
Larry King: No. No, you have your adenoids out.
Kathy Griffin: I don't know what an adenoid is, but I'd like to date one.
Yes, I sent him flowers and I wished him the best. I like him and I (INAUDIBLE) --
Larry King: OK, you've had interesting dates so far --
Kathy Griffin: I'm sorry I'm boring you.
Larry King: Well, I -- you're not boring me!
Kathy Griffin: You just cut me up. You're bored already.
Larry King: A lot of them --
Kathy Griffin: I'm sorry I'm not The Suspender Contest winner, which apparently is very exciting to you, Larry.
Larry King: A lot of the show that you do on Bravo is about dating.
Kathy Griffin: My Emmy nominated show.
Larry King: Oh, I'm sorry.
Kathy Griffin: Yes. Look at me. Fancy pants comes to town.
Larry King: Let's discuss some of the dates on your show.
Kathy Griffin: OK.
Larry King: The first date of the season was Nick Carter of the bad Back Street Boys.
Kathy Griffin: OK, Larry --
Larry King: You went to a red carpet event --
Kathy Griffin: Larry --
Larry King: What was it --
Kathy Griffin: It's called The Backstreet Boys, not the Bad Backstreet Boys.
Larry King: Oh, well, that's --
Kathy Griffin: And I'll bet you've interviewed them like seven times, that's the best part.
Larry King: A few times I've interviewed them.
Well, what was Nick like?
Kathy Griffin: He -- he was very cute and he was very sweet. He was a little young for me. And he was a -- he was so young I sort of felt like I was on that show "To Catch A Predator."
Did you see that show?
Like I was like the guy that walks in with the Web cam and the six pack going, "What's the problem?"
Larry King: Did Nick came to your door?
Did he ring the bell?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, yes.
Larry King: Yes?
Kathy Griffin: He came to the mansion.
Larry King: Did he have a limo? Kathy Griffin: Yes, he had a limousine and everything.
Larry King: Where did you go?
Kathy Griffin: We went to a very hot night spot called Le Doux, which is where all the starlets go and lift up their skirts and aren't wearing panties.
Larry King: Oh.
Did you (INAUDIBLE) --
Kathy Griffin: Oh, I had my dress over the whole night.
Larry King: Yes?
Did -- how did it go with Nick?
Kathy Griffin: Well, here was the down side. I just did it to be on TMZ and be in the paparazzi. And it turns out that Nick didn't want to be photographed because he's -- yes, I know. He's lost a bunch of weight recently and he wanted to reveal it later and so -- so it was kind of a bust. So I went out with him just for the publicity -- like our relationship, which listen, it's not based in love. Let's be honest. This is a convenience, photo-op kind of an affair that we're having.
Larry King: When you date someone much younger than you --
Kathy Griffin: Yes?
Larry King: -- did he --
Kathy Griffin: Well, it's not -- it's not much. It's not much.
Larry King: What do you talk about?
Kathy Griffin: His mom, who he probably lives with in the basement.
Larry King: (LAUGHTER).
Kathy Griffin: You know, I don't know. I just see with --
Larry King: Is it hard --
Kathy Griffin: -- I'm trying to learn about straight guys because --
Larry King: Really, is it hard dating again?
Kathy Griffin: Well --
Larry King: How long were you married?
Kathy Griffin: Four-and-a-half years.
Larry King: Is it hard to be single again? Kathy Griffin: I like it and here's why. I enjoy dating. I think women do themselves a disservice when they say oh, dating, I hate it. Can't believe I have to date again. I think it's fun. I think worst case scenario, you get to know a new person, a few hours, big deal. If it's bad, you know, you can ditch him. I think dating is great. I like it a lot.
Larry King: OK.
Another date was with --
Kathy Griffin: You're bored already.
Larry King: Hold on.
Kathy Griffin: All right.
Larry King: Was with a porn star, Ron, right?
The porn --
Kathy Griffin: Ron Jeremy.
Larry King: Ron Jeremy.
Kathy Griffin: I like how you know him by his first name, by the way.
Larry King: How did that go?
Kathy Griffin: Good old Ron. Well, let me tell you something about Ron Jeremy. He has made more films than any of your guests here.
Larry King: Did you ask you to be in any?
Kathy Griffin: Yes. I've still got it, Lar. I can go back to porn whenever I feel like it.
Larry King: Would you do a porn film?
Kathy Griffin: Of course I would.
Are you kidding?
I am dying to release a sex tape. And I don't know if it should be me and Haley Joel Osment or I don't know -- it's got to be somebody high profile.
Larry King: How about Donny Osmond?
Kathy Griffin: Donny Osmond -- or Marie would be the ticket, right?
You've had her on with those weird dolls, right?
It's me and having like a naughty doll sex scene with Marie Osmond.
Larry King: You, Marie and the dolls.
Kathy Griffin: What?
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: Somebody will buy it.
Larry King: OK.
In an upcoming episode, you put yourself at the mercy of your teenage niece, who fixes you up with a man.
And let's fix her up.
We'll be seeing a clip of that later.
Kathy Griffin: Can I just do it myself, Larry?
Larry King: Yes.
Kathy Griffin: All right.
So in an upcoming episode I have -- I double date with my niece. And she fixed me up with her tennis coach, who is a normal guy who is not on television and therefore I have no interest in him. He was just a regular -- he seemed very nice, you know, yawn, I moved on.
Look, I've got to be with someone famous or scandalous, someone I can maybe get like shot with.
Larry King: You said high standards.
Kathy Griffin: (LAUGHTER).
I'm trying to lower them, all right?
That's my mistake.
Larry King: All right, an e-mail from Bridget, Westminster, Colorado: "You were so hilarious with Barbara on "The View." You held nothing back. Would you consider the job replacing Rosie if offered?"
Kathy Griffin: Well, you know, that's an interesting thing. I'm very, very flattered to be on the list and to be considered and all that stuff. I dig Barbara and here's why. She doesn't get a thing I say. She doesn't laugh at one joke. But I love to torture her. It's fun. And then during the commercial break she says things to me like, "They say we're very good together."
And I said, "Yes, we're like a really messed up buddy cop film."
And then she just moves on and talks to Elisabeth.
Larry King: Would you -- you'd be great for "The View."
Kathy Griffin: Well, I -- Larry King: What?
Kathy Griffin: My friends are saying I would be fine. Like, they're taking bets on how fast --
Larry King: But you and Behar would --
Kathy Griffin: -- I would be --
Larry King: -- would joke who's next, joke line.
Kathy Griffin: Well, I love her. I think Joy is great.
Larry King: Yes, she's a great girl.
Kathy Griffin: She's so funny. It's a great group of girls. I love those girls. It's really fun to do. But there's nothing more fun than trying to shock Barbara Walters -- which is not easy, by the way. You know her.
Larry King: Very well.
Kathy Griffin: You've been to the dinner parties.
Larry King: I know her very well.
Kathy Griffin: Now, you know, that I -- I had Dominick Dunn, who's a mutual friend.
Larry King: A great guy.
Kathy Griffin: A great guy. And then he tells me that Barbara Walters has these dinner parties and I should get invited to one. So the next day I go into "The View" and I said, "Barbara, may I be on the dinner party list?"
And then she says, "I don't have them."
I said, "No, Dominick Dunn says you had one six months ago."
And she said, "Unum, no, I -- I never have dinner parties."
So I'm not even allowed in her house.
Larry King: Do you think she was fibbing?
Kathy Griffin: I know she was. She probably has them two or three times a week.
Larry King: As we go to break, here's a scene with our guest, Kathy Griffin on, I believe, a double date.
Watch.
Kathy Griffin: I'm off to my brother John's house to corrupt my niece, Claire. We have a double date tonight.
JOHN, KATHY'S BROTHER: Well, look who's here.
Hey, how are you?
Kathy Griffin: Are you letting in any peddlers or solicitors?
JOHN: Come on in.
Kathy Griffin: Hi!
Thanks for hosting my night of romance.
JOHN: How are you doing?
Kathy Griffin: I'm having my niece Claire pimp me out.
Hey!
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: How are you?
Kathy Griffin: Good to see you.
Since there are no celebrities in Chicago for me to date besides maybe Oprah -- and she's already got a boyfriend, Gayle -- I decided to just try a normal guy. So Claire fixed me up with the only person over 15 she knows -- her tennis coach.
Larry King: We're back with Kathy Griffin.
And to interrupt my questions about Rosie O'Donnell, it's no secret that Kathy Griffin is single again
Kathy Griffin: Wait, I can't -- I have -- can I tell you one thing?
Larry King: We've got to follow the format.
Kathy Griffin: Wait. Larry --
Larry King: It's no secret that Kathy is
Kathy Griffin: Boy!
Larry King: I'll get to it.
Kathy Griffin: But --
Larry King: Kathy is single again. The dating scene can be difficult.
Kathy Griffin: But I --
Larry King: So we sent our King cam out to the streets of Hollywood in hunt for a potential mate.
Let's see if we could track down any suitors.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: She just got recently divorced and we're going around asking guys would you date her.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Too old.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We'll have a little bit of wine tasting as an appetizer and then for dessert we'll be a little bit creative, but kind of keep down (INAUDIBLE).
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Somewhat mannish in an attractive way.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are those real boobs?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Would you date her?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Absolutely.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You would?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm going through a divorce myself.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think she's a little loud, so I think she'd be fun to go hang out with on a date.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I don't even know who she is.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The red hair?
Hot action.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are those real boobs?
They're real?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I think she's a little too much for me. I don't think I would be able to handle all that.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes. For 10 bucks.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.
Kathy Griffin: Oh!
Larry King: Oh.
Kathy Griffin: You know I'm in the room, Larry. You know I'm here. You could have maybe put this in the gag reel for The Suspender Contest winners later.
Larry King: OK.
If you end up hosting "The View," if you got on that --
Kathy Griffin: Wait. I'm sorry. I'm a little traumatized from the guy who --
Larry King: I'm (INAUDIBLE) --
Kathy Griffin: -- wants to be paid 10 bucks to go out with me. And then the one who thought I was maybe a man.
Larry King: Come on. You know, it's in jest.
Kathy Griffin: I'm mannish. There's a difference.
Larry King: All right.
All right.
Kathy Griffin: Have you ever seen Oprah and Gayle make out?
Larry King: No.
Kathy Griffin: Like have you ever actually seen that?
Larry King: No, have you?
Kathy Griffin: I don't know. But I think it might be happening.
Wouldn't that be fun?
Larry King: To watch?
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: OK. Kathy --
Kathy Griffin: I'm just saying -- open mind, Larry.
Larry King: Kathy, if you got the shot on "The View" --
Kathy Griffin: Yes? Yes?
Larry King: -- would Rosie care?
Kathy Griffin: No, I don't think so. I mean I think she's --
Larry King: She'd be happy for you?
Kathy Griffin: Yes. I think she wants the show to go on and do well. And I think she hopes what I hope, actually, which is whoever they put in that position, I really hope they talk about those issues, you know?
Because I think an interesting thing is it's the only daytime women's show that talked about those issues. You know, are you for or against the war?
How do you feel about the Gonzales hearings?
Stuff like that, that the soccer moms really care about.
Larry King: We have another e-mail question. Boy, you're loaded up with e-mail questions.
Kathy Griffin: I'm (INAUDIBLE) --
Larry King: Laura --
Kathy Griffin: With somebody else who wants to say I'm a man, that they would have to be paid $10 to go out with?
Larry King: What's the (INAUDIBLE)?
Kathy Griffin: Is this fun for you to hurt me, Larry?
Larry King: What's the name of this show?
Kathy Griffin: "The King Cam Hurts People Show?"
Larry King: Laura from Indianapolis has a question about Rosie's departure.
Kathy Griffin: OK.
Larry King: "What do you think about what happened with Rosie on "The View?" Since you've been on the show since she left, what's the mood like on the set? What do you think of Elisabeth?"
Kathy Griffin: Well, you know, that I --
Larry King: A lot of questions there.
Kathy Griffin: You know that I co-hosted the week before, when Rosie was there. And then I co-hosted the next day, after the blowup.
Larry King: Oh. Oh, you were the --
Kathy Griffin: It was tense.
Yes, I was on the next day.
Larry King: What was that like?
Kathy Griffin: Oh my god, I was in the eye of the storm. You would have loved it. So I walked in way too early, because I'm always afraid to get into trouble on that show. So Joy makes fun of me because I show up in hair and makeup at 6:00 in the morning, before like the security guards get there.
But, you know, I -- I was very interested to see the vibe in the room and stuff. And it was extremely tense. and then Barbara said, "Well, let's talk about it a little bit and move on."
And I thought, over my dead body. So I said, "That's right, Barbara," and then I just brought it up on the show every four minutes because I felt that it was what people were thinking about.
Larry King: What about Elisabeth?
How did you get along with her?
Kathy Griffin: I get along great with Elisabeth. She was fine and -- you know, I don't -- I don't know her that well, but she's fine.
Larry King: Did Rosie say anything to you about it?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, yes. We talked about it a lot.
Larry King: What did she say?
Kathy Griffin: Well, she -- you know what's funny about Rosie?
This is so great. It's all on her blog. You know, she has the greatest blog. And she writes in that like crazy haiku style, which I had to learn kind of like a language. And now I read it and understand it and I like it. But everything you need to know is -- Larry, are you bored again?
Larry King: No. I'm just (INAUDIBLE) --
Kathy Griffin: You are so bored by this interview. What do I -- I'm sorry I'm not Angelina Jolie --
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: -- and I'm not helping people in, you know, the Republic of Chad or wherever the hell she goes dragging those poor kids around, who must be exhausted. I thought she looked thin.
Larry King: (LAUGHTER).
Kathy Griffin: You didn't think she looked a little thin?
Larry King: Are you at Angelina now or are you at Elisabeth or Rosie?
Kathy Griffin: No, I -- I --
Larry King: Where are we?
Kathy Griffin: I can't keep track of all the --
Larry King: I've lost control.
Kathy Griffin: What if I dated Larry Birkhead?
Larry King: Ah, what -- Kathy Griffin: Would I not be on the news constantly?
Larry King: And you'd have a cute -- you might -- you get married, you've got an adopted daughter.
Well, why --
Kathy Griffin: I don't like children.
Larry King: Well why -- you don't like children.
Kathy Griffin: Ah --
Larry King: But like, this one might be rich.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, I love her. I love her.
Larry King: Let me get a break in.
When we come back, we'll have the text results of our question that we asked in our text vote.
Kathy Griffin: I don't want to talk to -- your fans are cruel, all right? They want 10 bucks, they think I'm a big drag queen, they think I'm too much to handle -- I can't handle her.
Really?
Maybe they should go out with Liz Taylor for a night and see how that goes. I'm a walk in the park.
Larry King: We'll be right back with Kathy Griffin.
When we come back, we'll be in Central Park.
Don't go away.
Kathy Griffin: All right, so tell me about my date.
CLAIRE, KATHY'S NIECE/PIMP: He's really cool. He's been my tennis instructor for a few years and --
Kathy Griffin: What's his name?
CLAIRE: Marty.
Kathy Griffin: You know, I'm sure he's a good Chicagoan, old park stock, probably, you know, not like a highfalutin Hollywood type -- a Midwesterner like myself.
Now, should we have a signal, like if I want to make out --
CLAIRE: OK --
Kathy Griffin: Understandable.
JOHN: My signal is when I drive the car through the plate glass window. That says it's time to stop making out.
Kathy Griffin: I know, why is John driving us on our date?
JOHN: That's my signal.
CLAIRE: Dad, you're driving us?
Kathy Griffin: It's called (OBSCENE WORD OMITTED) walk, John.
Larry King: I'm looking -- I'm looking at Angelina Jolie on my pod cast, available starting tomorrow. All you have to do is head to cnn.com/larryking or iTunes. Thanks for downloading us.
And tomorrow you can see this whole interview with Kathy.
Do you have a pod cast?
Kathy Griffin: I -- I -- I, yes. I have an iPod. I think I'm on Bravo's Web site -- I don't know.
Larry King: Do they pod cast your Bravo show?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, you can get it on iTunes and stuff. Pod cast is like separate, where you have to do like the after the show and stuff like that. I do --
Larry King: But they can get you?
Kathy Griffin: They can get me. I'm very easy to get.
Larry King: Wait a minute.
You said you got a call before the show?
Kathy Griffin: OK. So I'm in the elevator coming up here, right? And I get a call and I recognize the number and it's Andy Dick.
And so Andy goes, "Kathy, it's Andy."
I said, "Hey, what's going on?" I go, "Hey, you know, I'm just going to do Larry King."
He goes, "I know. I know you're going to do Larry King. I want to you bring up something with him."
And I said, "What?"
And he goes, "Why I haven't been on his show? You've been on three times. That's not fair. Why?" So what do you think of Andy Dick?
Larry King: I'll take it up to the producers, OK?
Kathy Griffin: All right.
Larry King: I like him. A good note.
Kathy Griffin: He's funny, right?
Larry King: Yes. I think he's funny.
Kathy Griffin: Yes. But it's just very him he would just call me in the elevator.
Larry King: By the way, our text vote results in. We asked regarding you and "The View."
Kathy Griffin: OK.
Larry King: Do you think Kathy Griffin is going to be Rosie O'Donnell's replacement on "The View?"
Get this -- 59 percent.
Kathy Griffin: Ooh.
Larry King: No, they said -- see, on my card it says 59 percent --
Kathy Griffin: Wait -- 95 percent.
Larry King: Up there it says 95.
All right, what's right, guys?
Fifty-nine is right.
Kathy Griffin: Larry --
Larry King: Fifty-nine percent go with yes.
Kathy Griffin: How --
Larry King: The slate is wrong.
Kathy Griffin: When is it enough with you?
First, I was so excited that I got 95 percent after nobody wants to date me.
Larry King: You know something?
I want to tell you something --
Kathy Griffin: And this is not a great neighborhood, even, that this building is in, by the way. Larry King: We never screw up on this show except when you're on. So I --
Kathy Griffin: What is that?
Larry King: I don't know what that is.
Kathy Griffin: You know, if it was Jolie, everybody would be fired if you screwed up when she's here.
Larry King: Oh, you know --
Kathy Griffin: Right?
Kids would be starving all over. She'd be feeding them, giving them bird seed or whatever the heck she does. I don't know.
Have you met her kids?
Larry King: No.
Kathy Griffin: Does she know them, do you think.
Or no?
I mean has she met them?
Larry King: Does she know them?
Kathy Griffin: Well, you know, some of these celebrities --
Larry King: you think they're props?
Kathy Griffin: I'm just saying --
Larry King: Wait a minute.
Kathy Griffin: No, no -- I'm just saying.
Larry King: That's blasphemous.
Kathy Griffin: (LAUGHTER).
Some of these -- some of these, you know, celebrities, I just wonder when they keep a job (INAUDIBLE) --
Larry King: Do you think Brad Pitt knows them?
Kathy Griffin: No.
Larry King: He doesn't know them?
Kathy Griffin: He probably knows their names. No, I think she -- I actually think she's great. Now, she's an example of somebody that I --
Larry King: She's a great girl.
Kathy Griffin: -- I kind of don't go for in my act because she's a little too cool, you know what I mean?
Larry King: Really?
Kathy Griffin: She travels the world. She helps people.
Larry King: What are you knocking her for?
Kathy Griffin: What do you knock her for?
Larry King: Yes.
Kathy Griffin: Just being gorgeous. That's all I've got.
Larry King: Well, you've got new additions to --
Kathy Griffin: On the other hand, Oprah --
Larry King: You knock Oprah?
Kathy Griffin: What about that prison school she has?
It turns out that school is a prison.
Have you heard?
Larry King: You mean because they treat people -- because they're -- they're tough?
Kathy Griffin: No, this is what's funny. OK, so she opens this school --
Larry King: A prison?
Kathy Griffin: -- and, god love her, she opens a school and she's helping people --
Larry King: Right.
Kathy Griffin: -- and doing all these wonderful things. And she goes to Africa -- and, by the way, brings, you know, Mariah Carey and Chris Rock and there's a -- maybe a bit of a photo-op, but also helping children. And -- and then a couple of the parents complain that it's like a prison.
Now that's funny to me. And I like the idea of going to Oprah prison. I think that's where Paris should have gone. She should have gone to Oprah prison, which is where I hope to go and finish out my sentence.
Larry King: Speaking of Paris --
Kathy Griffin: Yes?
Larry King: What do you make of this?
Kathy Griffin: OK. Look, here's the deal --
Larry King: Where is she on your list?
Kathy Griffin: She is A now, Lar, because we're all talking about you.
Larry King: Oh.
She was what?
Kathy Griffin: Somehow.
She was D. She was D. She was happily on the D-List. But, no, she banged her way to the top. That's how it works. You've got to get the sex tape and the scandal and prison time is gold.
Let me tell you something, I -- I have a story about the sheriff.
You know the sheriff, the infamous sheriff, Lee Baca?
Larry King: Yes.
Kathy Griffin: OK. So get this, on my show, "My Life On the D-List," I was going to perform. And I don't know if you knew this, but there's a gay wing at L.A. County Jail, where they segregate the gays and they put them in the programs --
Larry King: I didn't know that.
Kathy Griffin: And it's fabulous. But I saw a special on it. But I, first of all, just putting -- the idea there's a gay wing in jail is funny to me.
Larry King: It is funny.
Kathy Griffin: and if I was Paris I would beg to be there, because they would do your hair and call you diva. Oh, my sentence couldn't be long enough.
So I heard that there was this gay wing and this year on "My Life On the D-List" I perform in a prison, like I'm Johnny Cash with boobs or something, because they're trying to kill me on that show.
And I wanted to perform there. So I had to meet with the sheriff.
Larry King: Lee Baca.
Kathy Griffin: Lee Baca.
So it's my day off and I'm going to this stupid meeting, because I thought they'd be saying, oh, Miss. Griffin, what an honor.
No. So I'm sitting there with him. And he doesn't -- he doesn't know who I am. It's much like being on this show -- he has no idea who I am and doesn't care for me. And yet I -- he really, truly thought I was a secretary for Bravo.
So he kept saying to me, "What do you do?"
And I was trying to say, "We're going to bring our television show. It's going to be great. We're going to show all the wonderful programs you have here."
And he goes, "What do you do?"
And I go, "Uh, I'm the comedian."
And he goes, "Well, what kind of comedy do you do?"
I go, "Funny. Are we done?"
Like, I didn't like this guy, is my point.
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: And so it turns out that this is the same guy --
Larry King: That let her out.
Kathy Griffin: -- that let her out after two days. And I realized that was my problem. I wasn't like famous enough to go do stand up at the gay wing.
Larry King: Oh.
What is famous -- why is she famous?
Kathy Griffin: Because I think she ticks people off, you know, because she represents everything that bugs us about celebrities -- entitled, doesn't really seem to work, you know, kind of -- has no regard for the law or other people.
Larry King: But why?
What made her a celebrity?
What does she do?
Kathy Griffin: I guess she --
Larry King: What did she do to become a celebrity?
Kathy Griffin: I guess she wears like whacky outfits.
Larry King: But so does Matilda in Indianapolis wear whacky outfits.
Kathy Griffin: Who's called Matilda anymore?
Larry King: And Irma in --
Kathy Griffin: Irma?
What -- how -- what city -- in Indianapolis?
All right, I mean, hey --
Larry King: Why her?
Kathy Griffin: I mean -- OK, because, well, she has the pedigree.
Larry King: Because she's got a hotel name.
Kathy Griffin: She's got the hotel name, exactly. And she's done a little --
Larry King: So Phil Marriott would do well?
Kathy Griffin: Maybe.
Larry King: OK --
Kathy Griffin: If he lifted his skirt up and it turns out he was a hermaphrodite.
Larry King: OK --
Kathy Griffin: Look, you've got to go the extra mile. But I think she says outrageous things.
You know, like when she was depoed in the Joe Francis case, which I'm fascinated by. You know, that guy, the girls gone wild guy?
Larry King: Oh, yes, yes. Oh.
Kathy Griffin: That jerk is in jail and that's pretty sweet, right?
I'd like to see him fry. I can't stand that idiot.
Larry King: You (INAUDIBLE) -- you want him to fry?
Kathy Griffin: Yes, fry, literally, fry. Maybe Jolie could take him to a Third World country where they just do that. Put him on the fryer.
Larry King: (LAUGHTER).
Kathy Griffin: Anyway, he -- apparently he was depoed in that case and then Paris Hilton said -- and it's right there -- I'm sure it's on TMZ -- and she said, "I'm not very smart."
That's kind of fun. You've this giant superstar just going and saying, "I'm not very smart."
So, you know, we pick up on that. We make the jokes.
Larry King: Did the punishment fit the crime? Kathy Griffin: Yes, of course. I mean like everyone is asking acting like she's, you know, a hero. Like she's Benazir Bhutto in house arrest. I mean, my goodness, this is a woman that sleeps around and goes to parties and, you know, looks cute and wears fashion --
Larry King: Drives -- drives drunk.
Kathy Griffin: -- and drives drunk. And, yes.
First of all, 23 days, that's it?
All the moaning about that. That sounds like a vacation to me.
Wouldn't you love to just go somewhere for 23 days and not get e- mails or phone calls, get some rest, maybe a few tats?
Larry King: Not a bad idea.
Kathy Griffin: Right?
I hope she gets one of those like Mike Tyson tattoos. She's got to join a gang, right?
She's either in the Aryan Brotherhood or the Crips or the Bloods. I don't know her gang yet.
But now all of the teenaged girls are going to want to be in the gang. And she should cap some crazy tattoos. This is the beginning --
Larry King: Might --
Kathy Griffin: This is the beginning of bigger things for her.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP FROM "LARRY KING LIVE") Kathy Griffin: You're going, oh.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: A decadent Hollywood lifestyle.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Brian, how are you?
Kathy Griffin: He's cute. I'm making the moves on your date, screw it. Claire and I have some pretty hot dates and we can also switch. You know we don't have to stick with the guy we came with.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, girls, we have two eligible bachelors down here.
Kathy Griffin: Hello. Well, you look a little young for me, but I'm -- hi, how are you?
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Nice to meet you, Marty.
Kathy Griffin: Can I have those or are you going to hold them all night?
Larry King: We're back with Kathy Griffin. She'll be at the Universal Amphitheater in Los Angeles tomorrow night.
Kathy Griffin: Which is now called the Gibson, by the way?
Larry King: Oh, it is?
Kathy Griffin: Which I hate when they do that. Its' -- you know...
Larry King: E-mail question from Rylan in Denver who wants to know: "On your show you were interviewing handymen. Since you love your gays don't you think you should have a lesbian handywoman? My partner and I are more than willing and will be in Los Angeles this weekend?"
Kathy Griffin: That is the answer to my dreams. Have you ever gotten yourself a good handy lesbian?
Larry King: No.
Kathy Griffin: You have to, Larry, because let me tell you something, they run this town. Don't be fooled.
Larry King: Handy lesbians?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, yes!
Larry King: You mean they fix things?
Kathy Griffin: They do everything. And they can caulk a tub and the can run that dog park. There's no lesbian that can't train a dog.
Larry King: So do you want these two that are coming in to contact you?
Kathy Griffin: I do.
Larry King: OK, please contact her.
Kathy Griffin: Call Larry on his cell phone.
Larry King: OK. You've heard the expression that someone so unpopular that they can't even get arrested in Hollywood. Apparently, you're so D-list that you can't even get shot.
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: Watch this clip, folks.
Kathy Griffin: Hi.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Kathy, we're going this way.
Kathy Griffin: Where's my car?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Get down, get down, get down.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Watch your head, man.
Larry King: Only Superman could see that with his x-ray vision but what happened?
Kathy Griffin: The point is people are trying to kill me. Now, look, I think it was Gwyneth Paltrow. I don't have proof. I think it was Ryan Seacrest. I think he finally...
Larry King: Ryan Seacrest?
Kathy Griffin: Yes, I think Ryan Seacrest took a hit out on me. And, in fact, I'm pretty sure I saw him, come to think of it. Larry King: Why would Ryan Seacrest be at all interested in harming you?
Kathy Griffin: Well, you know, sometimes I say things about people in my act that I think are an homage that they might take offense to. It could be Whitney Houston. Look, it's a long list. There's a lot of people...
Larry King: Let's run them down. What do you have against Ryan?
Kathy Griffin: Look, I think Ryan is a very, very good hostess. I think she's...
Larry King: Hostess?
Kathy Griffin: I'm sorry. Did I say that? Look, the point is I was walking past a nightclub and I actually had been eating at the burger joint next door because I don't go to trendy nightclubs and didn't know it was a night club. So when the paparazzi was there I was giddy with the excitement that they were filming me and then shots fired out and I didn't even get shot. And now look, here is why I'm complaining: how great would it be if I had just been grazed? I don't mean shot and killed. But if I had been grazed, there could be maybe a vigil at Cedars Sinai. You know "Access Hollywood" could have covered it. Just a slight grazing. Do you have a handgun?
Larry King: I never fired a weapon. I never heard a gunshot.
Kathy Griffin: I know you have friends. You know Pellicano. You were all mixed up in that whole Pellicano crazy thing.
Larry King: No, I met him once.
Kathy Griffin: Come on, I hear you're very inside on that case. Now, look, could you have him shoot at me slightly on the arm?
Larry King: What do you think it would help the career?
Kathy Griffin: Of course it would. I'd be all over the news. And finally Larry Birkhead would ask me out. I'd be on the cover of "OK" magazine. I'd sell a picture for $500,000. Do I have to do everything, Larry? Do I have to sell the popcorn, too?
Larry King: Why this interest in Mr. Birkhead?
Kathy Griffin: Because he's the guy in the news at the moment. You know that...
Larry King: You go moment to moment?
Kathy Griffin: I do. Well, fame is fleeting. And so I need to start being seen with somebody that can really help me. Now who else is out there?
Larry King: There's Larry.
Kathy Griffin: Well, see, good guy for me, right. We put the kid in daycare. You know I don't have time for -- what, the kid goes gustad (ph)? Is the kid old enough for boarding school?
Larry King: Six months. I don't think so.
Kathy Griffin: That's perfect. They start skiing right at an early age. They go to the boarding school. It's like a Mary...
Larry King: Why don't you like kids?
Kathy Griffin: I think they smell funny. Also, they don't get my jokes. Now who is your favorite head of state that you've interviewed?
Larry King: Of all of the head of states?
Kathy Griffin: Of all -- yes, all of them living because I can't name Yasser Arafat.
Larry King: Living head of state?
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: Yes, I can't separate them.
Kathy Griffin: Clinton?
Larry King: Clinton is way up there, Tony Blair.
Kathy Griffin: What about me and Jim McGreevey?
Larry King: That's not a head of state. He's governor.
Kathy Griffin: Well, he's gay. That's the joke. Larry, remember when he came on with the life partner or as you called him love partner. You said that to him.
Larry King: I said he was his love partner.
Kathy Griffin: No, it's life partner. Don't piss off the gays, Larry. Let me tell you...
Larry King: Why?
Kathy Griffin: ...it will be the biggest mistake you ever made.
Larry King: What happens if you do?
Kathy Griffin: Because they have an army and they will come after you and they will find you. Look, I...
Larry King: By the way are you popular with gays?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, I love them. That's my dream audience.
Larry King: Do they come to see you?
Kathy Griffin: They come to see me.
Larry King: Why you?
Kathy Griffin: I think because -- I don't know. They live everything from I was the girl that went to the prom with the gay kid, right? Like that was me. There was always that one couple at the prom where maybe the guy was a little gayish.
Let me just say this, the guy I went to the prom with is now choreographer at Disneyworld. You tell me. Now, have you ever done a gay pride fest?
Larry King: A gay what?
Kathy Griffin: Have you ever done a guy pride fest?
Larry King: Gay pride fest, no, I've never done it. I've seen the parades.
Kathy Griffin: Well, why don't you do a gay pride fest?
Larry King: What do you mean, sponsor a parade?
Kathy Griffin: Look, here's the...
Larry King: I have nothing against them.
Kathy Griffin: Well, you've got to get more in the fold, Larry. Now, look, you've got to go to -- I did Orlando Gay Days, all right. So what happens is it's a big -- the gays take over a park. And you've never seen so many six pack abs in your life. They're all in very good shape. They don't touch a carb. And so, you go there and they're outrageous and have glow sticks. It's fabulous. You take your shirt off and then what you do is if you run into one of your friends it's like you and Don Rickles going, what's up, girl? How are you doing, girl? You'd fit right in.
Larry King: Girls who go out with gays a lot...
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: ...what is that story?
Kathy Griffin: Well, I -- you know, here is my dream. What about me and Merv. Is he gay, Merv Griffin? That's the perfect marriage of convenience, all right. He's got more money than God. I keep my same name. I look the other way when he's with the pool boy. I'm not making an assumption here. I'm just curious. Now, look...
Larry King: And you keep the same name, that's true.
Kathy Griffin: Right. I would have been perfect to marry like Rock Hudson or one of those guys, right? What do I care? I'm very busy. I have a lot on my plate. What do I care if the guy is banging guys on the side?
Larry King: Wouldn't it bother you that they would have no romance with you?
Kathy Griffin: Not really. No, because then I'm on the side with Jose the gardener. Everybody is happy, everybody wins.
Larry King: We'll be right back with Kathy Griffin who is really grooving tonight. Don't go away.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Try and keep your hands in your pockets. That's all I can tell you.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Dad, I'll drive the car. I don't need you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Marty, you're on your own.
Kathy Griffin: Please put your hands in my pockets.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All right.
Kathy Griffin: Well, let's move this thing along, Marty. So my brother is driving on our date to try to (UNINTELLIGIBLE). He can't (UNINTELLIGIBLE) me. There's no (UNINTELLIGIBLE) that I don't have a block that you can get right through. I'm experienced. I'll break through that thing like the karate kid. Wax on, wax off.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you date a lot now?
Kathy Griffin: No, just you. I only have eyes for you, Marty.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hey, you know what to say.
Kathy Griffin: I'm a virgin. You should know that. Take your pants off.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Kathy lives for awkward moments.
Kathy Griffin: I love them.
Larry King: It's time for the summer suspender sweepstakes. Each week this summer we'll run a clip from a previous show. I ask the question, you figure out who the question's for, then go to CNN.com/LarryKing to answer. Correctly I.D. the guest and you could win a signed pair of my suspenders, maybe even a trip to Los Angeles to see the show live.
Here's tonight's clip. The young black comic and star, was there a black predecessor that you looked up to? Think you know the guest? Go to CNN.com/LarryKing and you have until 9:00 p.m. Eastern tomorrow night to enter. Good luck.
Once again if you know the answer, go to CNN.com/LarryKing.
Tonight we're launching our summer version of the suspender sweepstakes. And it just so happens the grand prize winner of our 50th anniversary suspender sweepstakes right here in the studio. Karla Highfield (ph) of Arab, Alabama. She's here with her daughter, Mary; two beautiful ladies. Congratulations, Karla. I didn't know there was an Arab, Alabama. Did you?
Kathy Griffin: No, it's a little unfortunate after September 12.
Larry King: Jewish Georgia.
Kathy Griffin: What's wrong with that? I'm sure I've played there or will. Now can I enter the contest because I think I know who it is?
Larry King: No, don't say it.
Kathy Griffin: I'm not going to say. I just have an idea.
Larry King: Anyone can enter.
Kathy Griffin: OK, good.
Larry King: OK, good.
By the way, when do you get off -- if you get older, do you get off the list? Are you automatically off A-list if you're old?
Kathy Griffin: No. I think there's a lot of...
Larry King: Give me an old person on the A-list?
Kathy Griffin: Queen Elizabeth.
Larry King: She's on the A-list?
Kathy Griffin: Everybody wants her. People talk about her.
Larry King: Everybody wants her?
Kathy Griffin: I don't know. It depends. Clinton, always A-list.
Larry King: Bill Clinton?
Kathy Griffin: Yes. Now, when he -- I can't believe he's actually sat in this chair. Do you have a little thing for him? Like, is it true what they say, you get a little turned on when you're even in his presence?
Larry King: Men? I don't think men get turned on, no. I don't get turned on.
Kathy Griffin: I'm trying to get you in with the gay pride fest circuit, Lar, work with me here.
Larry King: He's a great guest and a fun guy. He is a fun guy to be around. I like him.
Kathy Griffin: What do you talk about on the commercial breaks, you and Clinton?
Larry King: We talked about basketball.
Kathy Griffin: Basketball?
Larry King: Yes, he's a big college basketball freak.
Kathy Griffin: Oh!
Larry King: Or we talk about inside political things.
Kathy Griffin: What do you and Jolie talk about in the commercial break?
Larry King: Jolie who?
Kathy Griffin: Why do I bother? Angelina Jolie.
Larry King: You call her Jolie?
Kathy Griffin: No, I'm afraid to call you Larry because I hear someone called him Larry by mistake and he said, "Mr. King." And then they turned into dust.
Larry King: Stop that!
Kathy Griffin: They turned into dust before my very own eyes. I saw it. You're going to miss me.
Larry King: I know you. You're into rare form tonight.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, Lar.
Larry King: Britney Spears, up or down on the list?
Kathy Griffin: That's interesting. She's got the deadly combo of -- you know, I think once you beat up a car with an umbrella you're always A-list to me. And I've had those feelings. I've been so mad at either my umbrella or a car, and finally they came together.
Now, I am enjoying her wig work. And I like when the wig falls off. I now that makes me a bad person. All that stuff is interesting.
You know I'm fascinated by the Alec Baldwin cell phone message.
Larry King: Yes, what about that?
Kathy Griffin: That is the ring tone on my cell phone. Does that make me a bad person?
Larry King: You mean if I ring your cell phone, I...
Kathy Griffin: It's Alec Baldwin yelling at me. But let me tell you, I answer that phone right away. It comes right out of my purse. I get nervous.
I like Hasselhoff chasing the hamburger around the carpet. That was fun. What about when the wife was on? Did you think she was a little cuckoo? What happens when you have a guest that's just freaking nuts? And I don't mean charming...
Larry King: Tonight is a good example.
Kathy Griffin: Larry! No, I meant...
Larry King: All right, hold it, calm down.
Kathy Griffin: I'm too excited.
Larry King: OK. Anderson Cooper is on at the top of the hour. Do you like him?
Kathy Griffin: Dream boat.
Larry King: Dream boat?
Kathy Griffin: You heard me, dream boat.
Larry King: Well, he's going to host "AC 360."
Kathy Griffin: How long has he had that gig?
Larry King: All you have to do -- quite a while. All you have to do is say, "Anderson, what's on tonight?" Look in the camera and say that.
Kathy Griffin: I'm in love with you.
(LAUGHTER)
Kathy Griffin: I am in love with you, Anderson Cooper, hold me, touch me inappropriately. Anderson cooper, come to my home tonight and love me. How was that?
Larry King: OK.
Larry King: Anderson, what's on tonight?
(LAUGHTER)
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN ANCHOR: Oh, goodness.
Kathy Griffin: Paula Zahn never gets that excited.
Larry King: Kathy, Kathy, Kathy.
Kathy Griffin: Paula Zahn just ignores. Anderson at least laughs.
Larry King: There should have been a...
Kathy Griffin: I like a lot of attention with Anderson Cooper in that segment.
Larry King: There should have been a Lawrence Welk museum, shouldn't there?
Kathy Griffin: Of course. What are you talking about?
Larry King: We'll be right back.
Kathy Griffin: I agree.
Larry King: Yes, OK. We'll be back with Kathy Griffin right after this.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The Beatles are the pop music phenomenon of the century.
Kathy Griffin: All right, I feel a little old on my double date. All right, I'm trying to relate to them, but I do feel like I'm out with my kids. What's your story, Marty? What's your dating history? Have you left a trail of broken hearts? How many girls have you slept with, ballpark? How many digits?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: OK, you're going to get me in trouble here. I'll say two hands, at least two hands worth.
Kathy Griffin: At least two hands. OK, what's your type, Marty?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: My type, pretty.
Kathy Griffin: OK, so you're shallow.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Female.
Kathy Griffin: You're straight. You're a typical shallow, straight guy.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Shallow, straight. Yes, basically a shallow, straight guy.
Larry King: Kathy Griffin, one more e-mail from Dave in Suffolk, Virginia: "Which celebrity annoys you the most and why?"
Kathy Griffin: Oh, gosh, there are so many to choose from. Nicole Richie is a mystery. She is a mystery. Why is she famous? She doesn't like to eat? That's it? That's all she's got? Larry King: That's it, somebody who doesn't like to eat?
Kathy Griffin: But she's photographed every day.
Larry King: You complained because my niece...
Kathy Griffin: Yes, because...
Larry King: ....wanted to get tickets to see you in Atlanta.
Kathy Griffin: OK, don't spin it, Larry.
Larry King: What do you mean spinning it?
Kathy Griffin: This is typical of being a D-list celebrity.
Larry King: She couldn't get in to see you.
Kathy Griffin: No. My office gets a call. Larry King wants tickets to your Atlanta show.
Larry King: No, it wasn't.
Kathy Griffin: Whatever Mr. King wants. Then we go down the food chain and it's your cousin's friend's best friend's niece's au pair or some crap. And I think you're coming. I'm telling everybody...
Larry King: My niece...
Kathy Griffin: ...Larry King is coming to see me. He's a big fan. We're going to take a picture afterwards.
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: Look, is her name even King?
Larry King: No.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, typical.
Larry King: She's my brother's daughter.
Kathy Griffin: As far as you know because it looks like you're making it up.
Larry King: And you got thrilled about meeting Jane Fonda right here on my 50th anniversary surprise show.
Kathy Griffin: What about that?
Larry King: That was some night.
Kathy Griffin: I couldn't believe they even called me. I was so excited. Bill Maher is hosting. I said, "Who else is on?" Dr. Phil, who, you know, a tool, let's face it.
Larry King: A tool?
Kathy Griffin: Yes. Come on, with the diet books, that guy, are you kidding me? With the diet books, please, lift your shirt up and show us your six-pack, Dr. Phil. Anyway, so he's there. Larry King: Barry Bonds, hey.
Kathy Griffin: Who's that?
Larry King: Never mind.
Kathy Griffin: All right. Yes, didn't Barry Bonds call from the middle of a hockey game or whatever?
Larry King: Baseball.
Kathy Griffin: I don't have time for the minutia.
Larry King: All right. He didn't call. He was on...
Kathy Griffin: So Jane Fonda -- do you want me to get your itch?
Larry King: No, I can scratch it.
Kathy Griffin: Don't you have one of those plastic things that could help you?
Larry King: Jane Fonda. I was thrilled over Jane Fonda.
Kathy Griffin: OK, what did you write down?
Larry King: I wrote down Lenexa, Kansas, my next call.
Kathy Griffin: Is that the score of the basketball game? Are you listening to a basketball game?
Larry King: Basketball is over.
Kathy Griffin: I don't want a problem with you.
All right, so Barry Bonds calls in from his Jai-Alai game and that was boring. However, Jane Fonda walks in. So that was very exciting that I got to meet her. I got a picture with her. That's it?
Larry King: I'm going to take a call now.
Kathy Griffin: Did you just turn me off? Did you just go, like, shut her up and press a button?
Larry King: Lenexa, Kansas?
Kathy Griffin: Anderson Cooper gets me in a way that you never will.
Larry King: Lenexa, Kansas, hello.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hello. What a great show tonight. Larry King: Thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, Kathy, I get such a kick out of your show. And there's a lot of rumors on the web right now about you and Tom. So what's the dirt or set us straight on your relationship with him.
Kathy Griffin: OK.
Larry King: Tom who?
Kathy Griffin: I can tell you're a fan of the show.
Larry King: Tom who? I haven't...
Kathy Griffin: This hurts. What if I thought this was the Joe King Show?
Larry King: All right, Tom who?
Kathy Griffin: All right, so on my reality show, it follows my real life and I have -- this is really weird but I have a roommate and he's also my tour manager. And there's this...
Larry King: He lives with you?
Kathy Griffin: Yes, it's weird. There's like a weird dude who lives in my house. And he's very...
Larry King: Does he sleep with you?
Kathy Griffin: How dare you! I am a virgin and I resent how you could ever...
Larry King: He lives in the same house with you.
Kathy Griffin: Do you think Barry Bonds wants to go out? What does he do?
Larry King: He's married with a kid. He's about to break the all-time home run record in baseball history.
Kathy Griffin: That must be a lot of home runs. Yawn, all right.
Remember when Jane Fonda was here? God, that was fun!
Larry King: So what about the Tom question?
Kathy Griffin: Oh, right. So there's a guy named Tom who lives in my house. He's very sweet but no, we work together and he wishes.
Larry King: OK.
Kathy Griffin: They all do, honey. They all want a piece of this hotness.
Larry King: San Jose, hello.
Kathy Griffin: I've heard of it. I've heard of it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Hi, Larry.
Larry King: Hi.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I love your show.
Larry King: Thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Gosh, I'm tongue-tied. Kathy, I met you a few years ago...
Kathy Griffin: Is this a gay?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, it is.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, thank you.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm one of your biggest fans and I feel like I'm destined -- actually destined to be one much your gays.
Kathy Griffin: Of course, you...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: How do I apply?
Kathy Griffin: You're in.
Larry King: What do you mean one of your gays?
Kathy Griffin: He wants to be one much my gays. Now, Larry, I know you hang out with a lot of gay guys. Everybody knows that. It's been a secret in Hollywood and tonight the secret's over. Remember Peter Allen? Remember when you guys would go clubbing?
Now, look, Mr. Bicoastal -- so look, when I say my gays that means I've always hung out with a lot of gay guys and I just lovingly refer to them as my gays.
Larry King: So can this guy be one?
Kathy Griffin: Of course.
Larry King: What's your name, sir?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Berkeley.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, no straight guy would be named Berkeley. Of course he is.
All right, now, honey, what's your birth name? You can tell us. His birth name is like Marvin.
Larry King: Wait a minute. So wait, if Berkeley is a gay name, does that mean when he was born they knew he was gay and they named him Berkeley?
Kathy Griffin: No, it means he changed it when he came out to his parents when he was 13 and they all fought about it and now they accept him.
Berkeley, does that ring a bell?
Larry King: Berkeley, you're a gay....
Kathy Griffin: He's one of my gays.
Larry King: We'll be back with our remaining moments with Kathy Griffin.
Kathy Griffin: He knows he's a gay person.
Larry King: And then I'll go home and...
Kathy Griffin: Berkeley, you're a gay person.
Larry King: ... then I'll go home and talk to my interpreter to explain this show. Don't go away.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
Kathy Griffin: Marty is a very sweet guy. He's not going to get my picture in a magazine. He's just a nice guy with a nice personality. And who's got time for that? What's he going to get me in, "The Chicago Sun Times"? B.F.D.
Where's our pick-up? So embarrassing.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You have a show to do tomorrow night and you've got homework still.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, Dad, I did my homework.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It will be too late.
Kathy Griffin: You know you're not the boss of me.
OK, here's the thing: dating a normal guy isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yes, I got a free meal. I didn't get free press. Anyway, I've got to go home and rest.
Larry King: We have one more e-mail. We don't want to end on a down note but we should mention it. Shelby in Glen Mills, Pennsylvania: "I was so sorry to learn of the passing of your wonderful father. He was such a funny and inspiring man. Any plans to set up any kind of foundation in his honor?" And they say, "Love to you."
Kathy Griffin: Yes, if you go on my website, KathyGriffin.net, you can click on and make donations to the, I think it's American Heart Association and the Multiple Myeloma Foundation.
Larry King: How old was he?
Kathy Griffin: He was 91. But really like up until the last few months driving and going to movies all the time and he was such a pistol. And I'm really glad that people got to see how funny he was on the show because the show really captured him perfectly. So when people come up to me and say, "Oh, it's weird. I feel like you knew your dad." And I say, "You did know him."
Larry King: I'll take 91.
Kathy Griffin: Yes, he had a great, great life.
Larry King: So Kathy...
Kathy Griffin: Yes.
Larry King: ...you sell them out tomorrow night; kill them.
Kathy Griffin: I will kill them tomorrow at the Gibson Amphitheater. Maybe your niece can come or her friend.
Larry King: Kathy Griffin. Before we go tonight, something new and revolutionary from CNN. Ever watch a news story about an issue like poverty or natural disaster and wish you could do something about it? Well, now you can thanks to CNN's "Impact Your World." It empowers you, the viewer, to not just watch the news but use the news to take action, impact change, and be part of a solution. You go to CNN.com/Impact and learn all about it.
And my congratulations tonight. Go to the opera legend and the great friend, Placido Domingo. Tomorrow he's being inducted into the Hollywood Bowl Hall of Fame, a rare honor for someone with a rare talent. Besides performing and recording, Domingo is the general director of the L.A. Opera and the Washington National Opera, not to mention a Grammy winner 11 times over.
Placido, we wish you nothing but the best as you accept this well deserved honor.
Kathy Griffin: Good for me.
Larry Larry King: Good guy for you?
Kathy Griffin: Kathy Domingo.
What's your take on the whole Isaiah Washington calling T.R. Knight a faggot controversy?
Kathy Griffin: I think it's hilarious that you can go to rehab for saying the F-word. I mean, what is it? A bunch of queens screaming at him? Saying,
''Oh, girl, no you didn't!" I just think that is funny. I mean, I think it is a good thing. You can't be calling someone a fag at work and
stuff. Unless you're gay — in that case, have at it.
How do you feel about people coming to Washington's defense?
Kathy Griffin: I don't know. I've only heard that Melissa Etheridge's wife [Tammy Lynn Michaels] sort of defended [him]. And, by the way, I read
that in The Enquirer, so it's true! I guess she and Melissa are friends with him. I guess they've had him over for dinner with his kids or something,
and she was like, 'Well, he never used that word around me.' I was like, 'Well, yeah, he's not gonna use it around you.'
I will tell you this: I think when you're a serious actor on a big show like that [Grey's Anatomy], I think you do have to watch what you say. I think you will offend people and hurt people.
If he was a comedian, I would defend his right to say anything, any word, anytime. Because I do believe that when you are a comedian on stage, you can say anything anytime. If it's not funny, believe me, they let you know. But I don't believe in any censorship when it comes to comedy.
Is there anything you won't joke about?
Kathy Griffin: You know, there's nothing anymore. When I started out, I would say, "My rule was no cancer, no AIDS." Then I met so many
AIDS sufferers and people with cancer, and I learned no one would tell an AIDS or cancer joke faster then an AIDS or cancer patient.
So I try stuff all the time. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. That's really my gauge. Is it entertaining? Is it funny? Or is it not? I'm not going to be outrageous just to be outrageous. If the audience isn't laughing, then I'm going to move on. I'm not going to be safe because I'm scared to say something. I think that's the great thing about doing stand-up — you get those answers right away. I would rather have the audience dictate what they like rather than me start a show with a preconceived notion of "I am not allowed to make fun of these topics."
You've also, regrettably, lost a few jobs because of your comedic talents.
Kathy Griffin: Or "big fat mouth."
No, no.
Kathy Griffin: But that's exactly the trade-off. It's so ironic that the things I got fired for on the E! channel, like making inappropriate jokes,
are the things I do on my Broadway show, and I got nominated for an Emmy. So I'm constantly trying to decide: Should I pull back? Yet for me
personally, I can't. I just don't know how. But I sort of thank God I'm a comedian, because I really don't have to pull back. Yeah, I'll get
fired sometimes. But I'm not going to go to jail for some of the stuff I say.
Don't go to Iraq.
Kathy Griffin: Yeah, exactly! A couple of years ago, I might go to jail. But I think things are turning a little bit more liberal now that people
hate Bush so much, which is great!
Michael Richards did a really stupid thing when he lost his s--- on stage screaming the N-word. It was a bad call, and it wasn't funny. He lost it. I don't know if he was just crazy or trying to be funny or racist or everything combined. [But] we do have the right to say those things. And audience members have the right to say, 'Buh-bye.' Or they have the right to go, "This is OK."
I really saw things change during this administration. And what I loved was during the Clinton years, you could make all the Clinton jokes you wanted. Then after 9/11, I'm telling you, you couldn't even make the most mild anti-Bush joke. People would literally freak out and leave the club and storm out. I'm like, "I'm allowed to make fun of the president." Luckily those things are turning back. Some of us are coming to our senses.
Have you ever had that little voice inside your head that says, "Gee, maybe I should cut back so I can appeal to a wider audience"?
Kathy Griffin: Constantly! I'm just not good at it! You know, Jay Leno used to be at my ass every time I did his show about "Why do you have
to swear?" And, "I made $250,000 every time I do a corporate gig, because I don't swear." And I'm [like], "Jay, I swear because
that's how I think. Those are the words I use to express myself." And, f--- you, I sold out Carnegie Hall three weeks ago. So there's room
for everybody.
Congratulations for selling out Carnegie Hall.
Kathy Griffin: Thank you. It's very exciting.
Is that for Bravo or something else?
Kathy Griffin: No — here's the best part! Bravo was too cheap to pay for it. So while the reality show covered me for going into the theater and
coming out, and going for a sandwich at the corner deli, they wouldn't go in and pay for even one minute of it. So you just have to take my word
for it that I got a standing ovation. And it's really pathetic me going, "No, really, they stood and everything!" I did tape my latest
Bravo special about a week later. It's called Everybody Can Suck It. That's going to premiere, I think, in April. Bravo hates that title!
I can imagine.
Kathy Griffin: I know, and they're all, "You're never going to get an Emmy nomination with that title." I go, "I'm not going to
get nominated for one of my specials, anyway." So, everybody can suck it.
Who are some of the new celebrities you poke fun at in your comedy act?
Kathy Griffin: I am obsessed with a show called Paula Abdul Idol, [as] I've retitled the show. I am fascinated with how Paula cannot seem to keep
her head up. Nor can she seem to keep both of her eyes open at the same time. That's the kind of s--- I live for! I love watching her head bob.
I love watching her reach for the big class of Coca-Cola filled with a lot of vodka in it. I'm not the bartender, but I'm assuming. I'm thinking
there might be a slight chance it's more than Coca-Cola.
Now I understand why so many gay men love you.
Kathy Griffin: Well, I'm going there. That's why I love gay audiences. Because they will f---ing go there. I love it! That's a comedian's dream.
Speaking of a not-so-friendly gay —
Kathy Griffin: Ryan Seacrest? That was terrible!
The guy I mean is a complete 180 from Ryan Seacrest because this guy's so not attractive.
Kathy Griffin: [Laughs.] I think I know who you're talking about!
Who?
Kathy Griffin: I think you're talking about Perez Hilton.
What do you think about his guerilla tactics in outing celebrities like Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris?
Kathy Griffin: I don't really do that. I make fun of Clay [Aiken], and I call him "Gaykin" and stuff. But the truth is — and I say this
every single show — I don't say Clay's gay. I don't have any proof. I don't have any pictures. I don't know if Clay should come out. Personally,
I don't think he should come out. I mean if he's going to be Barry Manilow and his fan base is going to be women, have at it! I don't want to ruin
someone's freakin' career! So, I really don't believe in that.
I think Perez has the right to print all the stuff that he prints. And God knows it's fun to read. We all have the right to think it's readable or not readable.
What do you think about his attacks on you?
Kathy Griffin: I'm happy to be on his blog in any way, shape or form. Me? I don't shy away from an unflattering picture. I never have. I read it
every so often, but I don't read it every day. And whenever someone says I was on Perez again, I think it's good for me. All I hear is the guy
has a lot of hits on his website, and I'm thinking that's more people who clicked on my name than would normally. So I'll take it. When you're
on the D-List, you're not trying to get the cover of Vanity Fair. You're just happy to be on Perez Hilton, even if it's a nasty comment.
Speaking of the D-List, what can you tell us about your reality show's third season? What does it have in store?
Kathy Griffin: They're apparently trying to kill me this year! Because this year I'm performing in a prison. As if Iraq didn't kill me. Oh, but
here's the kicker: Did you know prisons often have gay wings?
Oh, yeah.
Kathy Griffin: I'm going to perform in a women's prison in Mississippi. I'm going to perform in a maximum security men's prison. And then the gay
wing of a prison. I'm like, let me at them! I talked to a couple guys that I know who were, shall I say, guests at that facility. They were like, "You
have to do the gay wing of a prison! Because they'll all know you."
I thought if I do a prison with straight guys with tattoos on their necks, they're not going to know me. The women might or might not know me. But let me at that gay wing. That's something I'm really nervous about doing this season, but I'm looking forward to it.
Another interesting job you've announced you're doing is you're hosting the Gay Adult Video News awards.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, yes! I can't wait!
What on earth prompted you to do that gig?
Kathy Griffin: They called and paid my quote! Now here's the thing, though: I have to do my research, because the only name I know is Jeff Stryker.
Can you tell me who are the stars?
Believe it or not, I don't actually watch porn.
Kathy Griffin: Mike!
Seriously.
Kathy Griffin: I'm calling the President of the Gays and getting your card revoked. We have to talk.
The only thing I know is that a good person to talk to would be Margaret Cho.
Kathy Griffin: Oh, she'll know 'em all! Intimately. Do you know what the categories are going to be? Most aggressive bottom? I can't wait to see
the categories!
You've been very supportive of the American military. As an Army brat myself, I wanted to thank you for doing the USO shows. What do you think
of the Don't Ask, Don't Tell rule?
Kathy Griffin: I don't even know where to start. When I went to Afghanistan in 2002, Clinton had only been out of office for a little while. I
think the anti-gay sentiments in the military have only gotten worse under this administration. I personally noticed a difference in 2002 and 2006
when I went to Iraq. I think it's a brutal thing.
I think that Don't Ask, Don't Tell is an understatement. I think it's more like, "We find out you're gay, we kick your ass." And who the f--- do they think they are that they can be so picky? With the firing of the translators who speak Arabic when like 12 people in the military speak Arabic. I think things are going to change. I really do. I think whoever the next president is can't be as conservative. It's not even possible. The tide is going to turn. I certainly know gay people in the military. And you probably do, too.
Yes.
Kathy Griffin: It's a tough thing, man. It's a very tough thing. The gays I know in the military truly love the military. And yet they feel kind
of bitter they're forced to live a double life. Like these guys don't have enough f---ing stuff to worry about there in a war zone? I really
admire the gays over there. I admire the women. I admire everybody! That's just got to be doubly tough! They're strong motherf---ers, those guys.
They're badasses. I wouldn't want to mess with them.
Ellen DeGeneres called you "very mean" in W Magazine.
Kathy Griffin: I know.
And you've been reportedly banned from her show. How do you take that?
Kathy Griffin: Well, it hurts, because I really like her. I'm an admirer of hers. … Her stand-up is very different from mine; she's very clean,
very polished, all that stuff. You know, that's the whole deal … when I shoot my mouth off, that's what happens. Some people like me for it;
some people don't like me for it. Some people get it; some people think I'm mean. I don't think I'm mean. I think I just make fun of people's
behavior. That is absolutely her prerogative.
But believe me, I'm going to be watching her on the Oscars and be excited for her as a woman and as a comedian — to be hosting the Oscars is so great! I'm a big supporter of hers. It's the same with Perez Hilton. Everyone has the right to think I'm funny or not to think I'm funny, or think I'm mean or think whatever they think. And the funny thing is, you'd be surprised about how many people that don't like me, I still like them. I mean, I can really make a separation. I think the Ellen show is great! It's not always my cup of tea; it's a little squeaky clean for me. I'm just happy that she exists. To have a gay woman with such acceptance is huge!
Format: Reality show
Created by: Kathy Griffin
Starring: Kathy Griffin, Matt Moline, Jessica Zajicek, Dennis Hensley, Tony Tripoli, Maggie Griffin, John Griffin, Tiffany Rinehart, Tom Vize,
Steve Wozniak
Narrated by: Kathy Griffin
Theme music composer: Chris Hajian
Country of origin: United States
No. of seasons: 4
No. of episodes: 29
Executive producers: Kathy Griffin, Cori Abraham
Camera setup: Multi-camera
Running time: 46 minutes
Original channel: Bravo
Picture format: 480i (SDTV)
Original run: August 3, 2005 – present
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List is a two-time Emmy Award-winning reality show starring Kathy Griffin and airing on Bravo. The show made its debut in August 2005. Griffin also debuted four comedy specials during the show's run, Straight To Hell, Everybody Can Suck It, Strong Black Woman and Kathy Griffin Is...Not Nicole Kidman. The show follows the struggle of self-proclaimed "D-list" celebrity Kathy Griffin to climb the Hollywood ladder. This often includes scheming for publicity with staffers Jessica, Tiffany and Tom. Her relationships with her parents and her husband (from whom she is now divorced) have also been heavily featured. The first season of the show was nominated for a 2006 Emmy Award in the category "Outstanding Reality Program." The second and third seasons were likewise nominated, in 2007 and 2008 respectively, and won both times.
The third season premiered in 2007 with the highest ratings for the show, with approximately one million viewers. The fourth season in 2008 was the first expanded season, with ten episodes.[1][2] Shooting began for the fifth season on November 19th, 2008. It is set to debut in early June 2009.
Past seasons of the show have aired on the cable TV channel Arena in Australia, E! in the UK, and in Canada on The Comedy Network and the Toronto-based independent station Sun TV.
Origin of the title
Griffin had titled her first Bravo comedy special The D-List (2004), to imply that her pull as a bottom-feeder celebrity was so low, she didn't even make the "C-list." The special was such a hit that the network later approached Griffin to film a reality series based on her celebrity-bashing comedy.
Episode list
Season 1
Episode 1: "Out & About"
Episode 2: "Hot to Tot"
Episode 3: "Adjusted Gross"
Episode 4: "High Brow"
Episode 5: "From A to D"
Episode 6: "Magic Carpet Ride"
Season 2
Episode 1: "Going, Going, Gone"
Episode 2: "Red State, Blue State"
Episode 3: "Iraq"
Episode 4: "Rocket Attack"
Episode 5: "Puppy Chaos"
Episode 6: "Vegas, Baby!"
Season 3
Episode 1: "Suddenly Single"
Episode 2: "Dating For Publicity"
Episode 3: "The Show Must Go On"
Episode 4: "What I Won't Do For a Buck"
Episode 5: "Prison + Porn = Fun For Everyone"
Episode 6: "Kathy Goes To London"
Episode 7: "Back To My Irish Roots, Literally"
Season 4
Episode 1: "And the Award Goes to..."
Episode 2: "Home Is Where the Profit Is"
Episode 3: "Fly the Super Gay Skies"
Episode 4: "Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace"
Episode 5: "Otters, Cubs and Bears...Oh My!"
Episode 6: "No Time for Siestas"
Episode 7: "Busted in Bora Bora"
Episode 8: "For Your (Grammy) Consideration"
Episode 9: "What's Woz's Love Got To Do With It"
Episode 10: "Red, White and Don't Be Blue"
DVD releases
On March 16, 2007, Universal announced that Season 1 of "D-List" would be released onto DVD on June 12, 2007, a week after the premiere of the third season.[3] Special features were announced when menu screenshots came out on April 6, 2007. These include a Season 2 Sneak Peek and the special "Kathy Griffin Is... Not Nicole Kidman."[4]
References
1. Denhart, Andy (2007-12-11). Fourth season of My Life on the D-List starts production Dec. 31, will air in June. Reality Blurred. Retrieved
on 2008-02-15.
2. Rocchio, Christopher (2007-12-11). Kathy Griffin: Fourth 'D-List' season to begin taping, premiere in June. Reality TV World. Retrieved on 2008-02-13.
3. David Lambert (2007-03-16). "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List - Kathy's Show Heads from Bravo to DVD". TVShowsOnDVD.com. http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=7031.
4. David Lambert (2007-04-06). "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List - Menu Screens Show Extras for 1st Season DVDs". TVShowsOnDVD.com. http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=7129.
Live album by: Kathy Griffin
Released: June 17, 2008[1]
Recorded: February 2008 at the Grand Theatre Center for the Arts in Tracy, California
Genre: Comedy
Length: 57:38
Label: Music with a Twist, RED
Producer: Kathy Griffin, Christian Stavros
Professional reviews
Allmusic 4.5/5 stars
For Your Consideration is a 2008 comedy album recorded by American stand-up comedian Kathy Griffin. The album was recorded at the the Grand Theatre Center for the Arts in Tracy, California on February 17, 2008. It is Griffin's first audio-only release of her stand-up material. Included on the disc are her takes on various celebrities and her personal life. Griffin stated that she decided to release this CD to try to win a Grammy award.[1][2] For Your Consideration received a Grammy nomination for Best Comedy Album, but lost to George Carlin's It's Bad for Ya.
Promotion
In the Spring of 2008, a billboard for the album was placed on Sunset Blvd. Various print advertisements for bus stops, magazines and newspaper circulated from April 2008 to the release date of the album. The theme of the advertisements featured Griffin in an red carpetesque gown desperate for media attention (for which she is famously known).[1] The album also gained its own episode on Griffin's reality show, titled "For Your (Grammy) Consideration". [3]
Tracklisting
1. The Hot Ticket — 2:43
2. The Survey: Gay? Straight? — 0:43
3. The Clicker (For the Maggie Fans) — 2:16
4. My First Rebanning (Hi Barbara Walters!) — 2:50
5. Happy Sunday (More Maggie!) —3:47
6. Cover Me —4:08
7. Oprah Is a Deity (And I Think She Is Full of Shit) — 2:35
8. Oprah's Favorite Things — 6:19
9. The Osmonds Were Never Cool —6:39
10. Freaky Doll People (Demi? Oh Yeah!) — 6:13
11. Straight Guys Wake Up! — 4:47
12. Our New Daddy's Coming — 4:16
13. Wizard of Woz —2:13
14. My Run-in With Spielberg — 8:20
Original tracklisting, as seen on My Life on the D List before it went to print.
1. The Hot Ticket
2. What Happened to Britney?
3. Bad Girls Club
4. The Clicker
5. Box of Wine
6. "Cover Me"
7. Oprah Is a Deity...And She's Full of Shit
8. Did You See My Pussy?
9. Freaky Doll People
10. Straight Guys Wake Up!
11. The Fuck You Factor
12. Celebrity Run -ins
Album credits
Kathy Griffin —Executive Producer; Performer
Christian Stavros —Producer
Louie Teran —Mastering
Jacob Feinberg-Pyne —Engineer
David Bett —Art Direction
Michelle Holme —Art Direction
For Your Consideration Tour
To further promote the album, Griffin embarked on a U.S. tour titled "For Your Consideration Tour". The tour began in May 2008 in Hawaii and ended in December 2008 in Los Angeles. [9]
May 24, 2008 Honolulu, Hawaii United States Waikiki Shell
May 30, 2008 Atlantic City, New Jersey United States Borgata Event Center
May 31, 2008
June 19, 2008 Newark, New Jersey United States New Jersey Performing Arts Center
June 20, 2008 Albany, New York United States Palace Theatre
June 21, 2008 Westbury, New York United States Capital One Bank Theatre
July 11, 2008 Saratoga, California United States The Mountain Winery
July 12, 2008 Concord, California United States The Sleep Train Pavilion
July 18, 2008 Las Vegas, Nevada United States Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino
July 26, 2008 Dallas, Texas United States Nokia Theatre
August 8, 2008 Toronto, Ontario Canada Massey Hall
August 9, 2008 Niagara Falls, New York United States Seneca Niagara Casino & Hotel
August 10, 2008 Canandaigua, New York United States Finger Lakes Performing Arts Center
August 22, 2008 Kansas City, Missouri United States Starlight Theatre
August 23, 2008 Indianapolis, Indiana United States Murat Theatre
September 5, 2008 Atlanta, Georgia United States Fox Theatre
September 25, 2008 Washington, D.C. United States DAR Constitution Hall
September 26, 2008
September 28, 2008
October 3, 2008 Minneapolis, Minnesota United States Orpheum Theatre
October 4, 2008 Iowa City, Iowa United States Hancher Auditorium
October 15, 2008 Chicago, Illinois United States Chicago Theatre
October 16, 2008
October 18, 2008 Detroit, Michigan United States Fox Theatre
November 6, 2008 Phoenix, Arizona United States Dodge Theatre
November 7, 2008
December 7, 2008 Palm Desert, California United States McCallum Theatre
December 8, 2008
December 9, 2008 Los Angeles, California United States Kodak Theatre
December 10, 2008
December 11, 2008
December 12, 2008
References
1. a b c Permanent Press Media (2008-05-27). Kathy Griffin Wants a Grammy For Your Consideration, Emmy Award Winning Comedian's New Album. Press
release. http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS181646+27-May-2008+BW20080527. Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
2. Kusner, David A. (2008-06-24). "Kathy Griffin’s certainly ubiquitous. But her jokes aren’t getting old". Dallas Voice. http://www.dallasvoice.com/artman/publish/article_9430.php.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
3. "Episode 8: For Your (Grammy) Consideration". Bravo Television. NBC. http://www.bravotv.com/Kathy_Griffin/season/4/episodes/index.php?episode=8.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
4. Bronson, Fred (2008-06-24). "Funny Girl". Chart Beat. Billboard Magazine Online. http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/chart_beat/bonus_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003821205.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
5. "The Billboard 200: For Your Consideration - Kathy Griffin". Billboard Magazine Online. http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/esearch/chart_display.jsp?cfi=305&cfgn=Albums&cfn=The+Billboard+200&ci=3097197&cdi=9814670&cid=07%2F05%2F2008.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
6. "Top Comedy Albums: For Your Consideration - Kathy Griffin". Billboard Magazine Online. http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/esearch/chart_display.jsp?cfi=315&cfgn=Albums&cfn=Top+Comedy+Albums&ci=3098445&cdi=9860892&cid=08%2F16%2F2008.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
7. "Top Independent Albums: For Your Consideration - Kathy Griffin". Billboard Magazine Online. http://www.billboard.com/bbcom/esearch/chart_display.jsp?cfi=326&cfgn=Albums&cfn=Top+Independent+Albums&ci=3097519&cdi=9826720&cid=07%2F19%2F2008.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
8. "For Your Consideration, Kathy Griffin (Details & Credits)". Barnes & Noble. http://music.barnesandnoble.com/For-Your-Consideration/Kathy-Griffin/e/886972884721/?btob=}.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
9. "Kathy Griffin’s up ‘For Your Consideration’ in June". Sentimentalist Magazine. 2008-05-21. http://www.sentimentalistmag.com/2008/05/21/kathy-griffins-up-for-your-consideration-in-june/.
Retrieved on 2008-08-10.
Biography References
1. Kathy Griffin at the Internet Movie Database
2. Frank Lovece (June 18, 2006). "Fast Chat: Q & A with Kathy Griffin". Newsday.
3. Bill Harris, Griffin unsure about 'The View' gig, canoe.ca, August 4, 2007, accessed August 6, 2007.
4. Mark Dagostino, Kathy Griffin: Split-Screen Made Rosie Leave The View, People, May 27, 2007, accessed August 6, 2007.
5. Kathy Griffin MSG 1/27 (5 of 10) - Kathy's Mom
6. Banned by Babs, New York Post
7. Barbara Walters Re-Bans Kathy Griffin From 'The View', AccessHollywood.com
8. Tyra Banks Show
9. "Kathy Griffin's Jesus Remark Cut from Emmy Show". Reuters. 2007-09-17. http://www.reuters.com/article/televisionNews/idUSN1144512920070911.
Retrieved on 2007-09-25.
10. "Larry King Live". CNN. 2007-09-17. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbziBwi489Q. Retrieved on 2007-09-19.
11. Lynn Elber (September 11, 2007). "Griffin's Emmy remarks to be censored". AP Television. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070911/ap_en_tv/tv_emmys_griffin.
Retrieved on 2007-09-11.
12. Associated Press (2007-09-11). "Kathy Griffin's Emmy Remarks About Jesus to Be Censored". Fox News. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,296382,00.html.
Retrieved on 2007-09-11.
13. Reuters (September 12, 2007). "'Offensive' Jesus remarks cut from Emmys". News.com.au. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22404898-23109,00.html.
Retrieved on 2007-09-18.
14. O'Reilly, Bill (2007-09-14). "The O'Reilly Factor : Talking Points". The O'Reilly Factor (Fox News). http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,296767,00.html.
Retrieved on 2008-07-09.
15. King, Larry (2007-09-17). "CNN Larry King Live : Kathy Griffin Censored at Emmys". CNN Larry King Live (CNN). http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0709/17/lkl.01.html.
Retrieved on 2008-07-09.
16. Bravo (June 6, 2007). Bravo's Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List Season Three Premiere Sets Record Ratings and Series High With More Than One Million
Total Viewers. Press release. http://www.thefutoncritic.com/news.aspx?id=20070606bravo02. Retrieved on 2007-07-01.
17. In Case You Didn't Know. "Perez Hilton Visits Howard Stern". ICYDK. http://icydk.com/2006/12/06/perez-hilton-visits-howard-stern/. Retrieved
on 2007-10-19.
18. Celebrity Babylon. "Perez and Kathy Griffin Make Nice". Celebrity Babylon. http://www.celebritybabylon.com/features/perez-and-kathy-griffin-make-nice/.
Retrieved on 2007-10-19.
19. TV Guide. "Living Life on the D-List". TV Guide. http://entertainment1.sympatico.msn.ca/Living+life+on+the+DList/TV_Guide/Interviews/Insider/Articles/070711_kathygriffin_AD.htm?isfa=1.
Retrieved on 2007-10-19.
20. "'D-List' star Kathy Griffin denies assitant Jessica Zajicek has quit". Reality TV World. 07/29/2008. http://www.realitytvworld.com/news/d-list-star-kathy-griffin-denies-assitant-jessica-zajicek-has-quit-7554.php.
Retrieved on 2009-03-06.
21. "'D-List' star Kathy Griffin denies assitant Jessica Zajicek has quit". Celebrifi.com. 3rd Aug 2008. http://www.celebrifi.com/sub.php?sid=19627.
Retrieved on 2009-03-06.
22. Deborah Starr Seibel (May 30, 2006). "Last in Line for Celebrity: Griffin - Hollywood's Outcast". The New York Post. http://www.nypost.com/entertainment/64453.htm.
Retrieved on 2007-07-01.
23. The Ellen Degenres Show retrieved September 18, 2007
24. Adam Sternbergh (August 8, 2005). "Dorothy Snarker". New York Magazine. http://nymag.com/nymetro/arts/tv/12299. Retrieved on 2007-07-01.
25. In Praise of Kathy Griffin -- The Cut: New York Magazine's Fashion Blog
26. Was Kathy Griffin dumped over Jesus joke?, TVSquad.com.
27. Shia (September 28, 2007). "Celebrity Atheists". nowpublic.com. http://www.nowpublic.com/opinions/celebrity-and-personality-atheists-do-you-buy-their-commodities.
Retrieved on 2007-09-28.
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33. "Apple Co-Founder Steve Wozniak Escorted Comedian Kathy Griffin & Her Potty Mouth To The Emmy's.". http://www.ceosmack.com/2007/09/18/apple-co-founder-steve-wozniak-escorted-comedian-kathy-griffin-her-potty-mouth-to-the-emmys/.
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